The teacher asked the class in primary school what did daddy do, for work, she went round the class, all went well until little Timmy, when asked, Timmy replied, my daddy is dead, oh I’m so sorry Timothy, said teacher, what did he do before he died, well said Timmy, he went blue then shat on the carpet.

sorry corrie, that filtered word was probably essential to the joke.

could you do it again using asterisks “fced”

carole x

Classic chortle chortle!

VERY RUDE (you have been warned)

Same class and teacher says “I want everyone in turn to give the class a sentence with the word ‘contagious’ in it”

So little Liz is first and she says “coughs and sneezes spread diseases; it makes them contagious.”

Very good teacher says.

Next up was the lovely Bonnie and she said “Ebola is an airborne virus and is very contagious.”

Very good Bonnie, excellent.

Then the one person teacher was dreading; Val; put her hand up and said “me next miss; please miss; Fearing what this child would say the teacher said “alright Val”.

She said “My dad saw the next door neighbour painting the outside of his house with a 1 inch paintbrush.” He said “What an idiot; it will take the contagious”