Hi,
As my title says im so scared,confused and worried as i don’t know what to do…
My partner was dianogised with Ms at beginning of the year and I’ve been unable to speak to him as he’s always angry and it ends in him losing his temper hitting his head and punishing walls or what ever is near. He says i don’t understand, i am not in fit health myself and struggle so me days but i never judge as as i don’t know his pain as he doesn’t know mine. But im trying to understand and help him. He is every forgetful i have to remind him about everything including taking medication. I just feel im doing more harm than good as i relationship has come very angry. It doesn’t help as he is having problems with sex, which isn’t helping his confidence. Can anyone offer me any advise
I’m so sorry you find yourself in this miserable situation and it must tough for both of you. This s awful diagnosis can be hard to come to terms with and can have a number of symptoms. Has your partner got an MS nurse? They are a fantastic resource and it may be worth you having a quiet chat. It may also be worth considering counselling as it sounds like you both may benefit from that but I suspect your may not take too kindly to you suggesting it! I really hope things calm down for you both
Julia x
Hi Michaela,
That’s really, really tough. It seems to me that your boyfriend has a problem coming to terms with his diagnosis. And you are a caring, sensitive woman on the outside looking in.
Has he always been forgetful, or is it a symptom of MS or a side effect of a medication?
I think you acknowledge that his anger and frustration, although directed at you, aren’t because of you. If he’s trying to bury his head in the sand then, then you yank it out you’re going to be on the receiving end of a lot of bottled up resentment.
There is a MS guide about Sexual Disfunction in Men (type “MS Essential ES12/0707” into a search) that covers just about every aspect of the problem. But, as Julia says, it’s all about getting him to face up to MS.
Best Wishes,
Anthony
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Thank you for your kind words any suggestion is welcome. He doesn’t have an ms nurse. I will contact them Monday and ask about a ms nurse. I have also enquired about local support groups, that’s if i can get him to go.
I came across this by chance! It’s sounds so very similar to my situation… You must take care of you!! Set boundaries as in bad behaviour and so on. My husband only really gets it when I sit him down and explain it to him directly, no shouting or crying, just tell him. Remind him that you love him and are 1000% there for him, which you obviously are xx it’s really hard to watch the person you knew dissolve, my case not yours, but your love has to just be, no more no less…it won’t get easier sweetie it gets harder, my experience, but pull him back! Pictures happy times and it’s not over!!!
Here if if you need me xx
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