Cute isn’t. It, beats the invisible hedgehog C
Blossom - your wish is my command.
A Politically Correct Christmas Poem by Author Unknown
T’was the night before Christmas and Santa’s a wreck…
How to live in a world that’s politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to “Elves”.
“Vertically Challenged” they were calling themselves.
And labour conditions at the North Pole
were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their rooftops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called “Unenlightened.”
And to show you the strangeness of life’s ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorised use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she’d enough of this life,
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts, why, he’d never had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls, or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that’s warlike or non-pacifistic.
No candy or sweets…they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
No baseball, no football…someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, dishevelled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.
He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you’ve got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere…even you.
So here is that gift, it’s price beyond worth…
May you and your loved ones, enjoy peace on Earth.
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Happy Christmas Auntie Peggy
For Christmas I bought my Auntie
A brand new wooden leg
I didn’t have it specially made
No I just got it off the peg
You may say it’s not a nice gift
Or even that it’s a killer
It wasn’t her main present though
It was just a stocking filler
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Thank you JBK
Hahahaha JBK and Noreen.
Well done Cherrylips. Really sweet.
xx
Thanks shazzie, took me ages, but now I know how…
My goodness Jen! you’ve released cherrylips inner avatar fetish
Got quite a few… wait for the next ones…I have an addiction problem, usually to malteasers, grapes & cherries, Now avatars!! C
What do you think of this one then?
Shazzie xx
Nice one C
I can’t keep up with you cherrylips…very cute
Yes. It is chuuby santa getting stuck down the chimney and reindeer has a big red sack that he is gonna wack him on the bum with lol.
xx
You probably already know this Noreen but just in case as I use this a lot with my dodgy eye.
If you click on the avatar and hold down Ctrl on the keyboard and at the sametime move the wheel on your mouse forwards it will make everything bigger.
Shazzie xx
Sorry, just playing with the quote to see if I could correct a spelling mistake.
It’s getting late Shazzie lol. I don’t know what you’re telling me
I don’t use a mouse, mine is a touch pad!
I’ve deleted my comment to you now Shazzie, with messing about with quote.
I’ve got what you meant now. Making the avatar bigger, so that I can see it better. It must be time for my next lot of medication lol
Christmas Post
Mildred went to the post office
To buy stamps for her Christmas cards
“What denomination do you want?”
She was asked by Mr Everard
“That’s political correctness gone mad,
Has it come to this?” said she
“You’d better give me a book of Catholic
And a book of C of E”
We need some chritsmas smilies
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Just remember gang, drunken Santas in charge of overloaded sleighs can seriously damage your 'elf.
Geoff
Since:
a - cherrylips would have liked a hedgehog …
b - its party time …
Geoff
Love the hedgehog Dr Geoff, not as cute as my nieces little African Pygmy one tho. Just settle, for now, for these little Cuties. C
40 Christmas shopping days to go. Still no reason to panic! I’ve bought my Christmas cards still in the carrier bag but for me, that’s progress
The first reindeer seen in a bar
One evening, in a busy lounge in the deep south, a reindeer walked in the door, bellied up to the bar and ordered a martini. Without batting an eye, the bartender mixed and poured the drink, set it in front of the reindeer, and accepted the twenty-dollar bill from the reindeer’s hoof.
As he handed the reindeer some coins in change, he said, “You know, I think you’re the first reindeer I’ve ever seen in here.”
The reindeer looked hard at the hoofful of change and said, “Hmmmpf. Let me tell you something, buddy. At these prices, I’m the last reindeer you’ll see in here.”