My husband is 64 years old and over the last few years he has got worse and is now in a wheelchair full-time. I have always managed to cope but now I feel I cannot any more. My energy has gone downhill (66 years old) and I have no patience to deal with the day-to-day tasks, especially in the mornings with washing and incontinence problems. I get very angry and frustrated with him and just wish things could be different. We tend to spend most of our time arguing and having to deal with all the daily problems and there is little enjoyment in life. The only time I am happy is when I get out of the house and meet up with friends or do something which interests me. We have no close family or friends that could help on a practical level. There is a carer we know that helps from time to time but we could not afford to have her more than once or twice a week. Thanks for letting me vent my frustration.
Hi @Carin i feel for you, a terrible situation to be in. Have you been in touch with your local authority to see what support you can get from them?
@Carin P.S have you looked at the MS Society website section on Support for Carers - including the bit on local authority support for Carers ?
Yes, been in touch but we do not qualify because my husband still has some savings. Also they said we would have to get equipment in first, such as hoist and hospital bed, before they would consider coming to help. We have had NHS assistance short term in the past. We just do not have the room in our small flat. He does not need a hoist yet, nor a hospital bed. All very frustrating.
Not something I know anything about but have you asked for a ‘Carer’s Assessment’ ?
A good reply could be:
“Hi @Carin, I’m really sorry to hear about your situation. Have you been able to reach out to your local authorities to see what support they might be able to offer you?”
Hi Carin
I can totally empathise with you as being very close in age I am having the same problems looking after my wife. She is not totally dependant on her wheelchair yet but it’s only a matter of time. We used to enjoy going out to shows, comedy nights and concerts but since covid times she is not interested in going anywhere. she prefers to stay home every night on her own if needs be. I feel guilty about going out without her but I need some time for myself or I’ll lose my mind. I can see the future looking after her full time and not being able to go out and do the things I enjoy (our respective families live miles away and couldn’t provide respite at the drop of a hat) so we will have to get help from Social Services when that time comes. Hope this helps you feel better to know you’re not alone x
Hi,
Yes, it makes me feel better knowing I am not alone. We do go out still from time to time, it just needs a lot of planning. What worries me for the future is what happens if my health fails and I can no longer look after him at home. Just wish we could turn the clock back 10 years or so. Before Covid things were so much better!