It`s all crap…however you look at it…none of us would choose to have a disability, in the same way, no-one would choose to look for a partner with a disability.
But innit a chuffin good job that there are lots of folk who can stomach it......without that Id be up stool creek without a paddle!
pollx
I do agree that it was scary for him and yes it comes down to tactfulness and how you handle the situation. I don’t think anyone has been too harsh and I appreciate the honesty.
And yes, if I had children would let my child marry whomever they wished, regardless of their different abilities, if they loved them for the person they are.
hello a-j
really sorry to hear of your situation and my thoughts largely echo those above.
i appreciate that yours was a fledgling relationship, but from a perspective of human compassion i am disgusted with the cold way which your boyfriend spoke to you. he can make a point of his concern but to say “If you become disabled in 20 years time I don’t want to look after you. It might ruin my life” is pointlessly cruel and shows his ignorance.
fortunately there are many people who do not feel this way. you deserve better.
with love fluffyollie xx
Here’s what I would ask him.
if you were hit by a car tomorrow, would you want me around to help you recover?
If he says no, then that’s it. Dump the sod. He either loves you and wants to be with you, or not and he’s been thinking about ending it all.
I was diagnosed in 2000 and thanks to medicines and luck, I haven’t progressed at all. I’ve been ill with relapses from time to time, but no progression.
I had a total knee replacement last Monday. There may be some MS trouble but my knee problem came from before diagnosis.
The ligaments pulled my knee out of alignment.
Im married. We take our vows seriously, but ‘for better or worse, in sickness and in health’ have been tested, but we got through to 30 years in December last.
MS may not do anything terrible to you. There are great new drug therapies and the older ones have worked for me.
I wish the very best.
Mrs Alto
It might not feel like it just now,but hes done you a big,big favour.
J x
Amanda,
Sorry to hear your news. My wife and I had been together 13 years, had our first child, she was pregnant with our second, when I had my first attack 18 years ago. More than she has said “I would never leave you because of the MS, if I left you it’s because you’re a complete and utter pr1ck!”. Fair comment, I guess.
I know 3 ladies who have MS, whose partners have all left them. I don’t know of any females who have left being faced with a similar situation. It’s no excuse but I think it’s harder for males to deal with having a spouse with MS than it is for females.
I think you’re better off without him.
Derek
As her last post was mid November, I guess things have progressed and life goes on, as it does. A bit like a bereavement, you think the world should stop when you lose someone. We all know it doesn’t, so once we deal with our grief, sadness and sorrow, we grow strong again and carry on. The alternative doesn’t bear thinking about.
[quote=“Poppy6488”]
As her last post was mid November, I guess things have progressed and life goes on, as it does. A bit like a bereavement, you think the world should stop when you lose someone. We all know it doesn’t, so once we deal with our grief, sadness and sorrow, we grow strong again and carry on. The alternative doesn’t bear thinking about.
[/quote] like Poppy says & lots of other peaple, life does go on, dont make any easy, but tis true dude, I & many others had their fair share of kickings, itz just the bul$%t & confidence loss ya gotta get throw , & ya will, js remember!! your better, hold ya head high & smile
best of luck juju, xx
Today has been rough so tired of a hateful husband! I cannot help my spasticity prevents me from being mobile. Marriage is the pits when I am reminded how he has to do everything! I know it’s not fair. My house is not handicapped accessible and doing simple things like bathing is impossible without his help but just renovate the bathroom like we talked about which would give me independence. Worry for the rant but sick of “him”.
This man who walked out on you would, like you have, shared your diagnosis with people. He may have told his other friends, his family, his parents. What would their advice to him have been? Perhaps he’s been advised to ‘Get rid of her, you don’t want to be lumbered with a disabled partner’.
However, it was ultimately his decision to reject your relationship and his words show him up as being extremely selfish. You are better off without him, and a much more suitable partner will be out there. Don’t let this one experience of a selfish man taint your expectations of everybody else.
Flo xx
You’re answering an old post from 3 years ago.