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Breadwinner with no bread...HELP!

Depressed, lost another job! 5 jobs in 8 years and and 3 years of that out of work completely (only eligible for 6 months benefits in that time). Not sure how I can continue to be the breadwinner. If I haven’t lost jobs from employers discovery of my MS (loss of trust or fear of sick time), I have lost them because my cog fog makes me so inconsistent that I don’t keep up to the level required of me.

The fact is, I have only had 1 day off sick in all that time and that was for flu which they sent me home for.

Of course there are others in my situation for similar reasons, so I would really like to hear from you.

Since diagnosis in 2011, (when working) I generally earn a 3rd of my pre MS salary. My cog fog is causing so many problems that whilst I am good enough to get another job, it is only a matter of time 6-12 months before this all happens again.

I can’t take a further pay cut as I need to pay for family, mortgage and other usual bills.

This life is not sustainable.

A little personal but does anyone with MS earn over £45,000 in job they have held for more than a year? If so, what industries and roles do you work in.

Desperate for a career change to enable me to get some more sustainability but I’m so lost.

I am so sorry. There is no government assistance available for your MS?

I can’t personally relate, but my son has undiagnosed health issues that caused him to lose a job that he loved because the cog fog and physical problems led to a deterioration in his work abilities. They’ve told him that he can get his job back if he gets his health in order, but in the meantime he hasn’t worked in 2 years, ran out of money, and had to move back home. Because he’s classified as a “healthy adult”, he has no income and relies on me and my Disability payments.

Thank you for your reply, it is so sad to hear of your son’s misfortune. One of my mistakes in hindsight is not continuing a company health policy I had when I lost a job, pre diagnosis. I am sure you have explored this but worth getting all the insurance possible for your son and then shout loud for diagnosis - I am now uninsurable. :frowning:

I am very lucky to have my family and the physical health I currently have but this cog fog is prohibiting in many ways.

I would love to start a business that helped everyone in our situation. Your son will have skills that will still be of value to others, but I relate to the challenge.

I wish you all the best

i AM assuming you are in a management role and therefore you should be on full sick pay most companies do that its the perk of the job. I was when i worked at the time of starting my journey.

Are you in the UK? iF SO you need to talk to your company and explain to them how your MS affects them they have a duty of care to support your role in the work place. I would chat to ACAS, they can advise you.

I went on long term sick pay at full pay until I had to stop work altogether. Seems to are still happy to work.

Get advice about your mortgage, could you move to a cheaper house for example, or talk to your mortgage company and see if they can help you. MS Society help line is also a good place to start.

I had a lot of support with my work when i got sick and i didnt know it was MS as i worked hard.

I spoke to ACAS there number is 0300 123 1100 they were very helpful.

Not in a management role and regardless I am now not in any work now. Without making the two year point in any position companies can just say goodbye without giving any reason (advice from ACAS). Unless you have solid proof as in witnesses and documented evidence their is no leg to stand on.

More and more companies are struggling themselves these days and therefore it is becoming common place to only offer the statutory redundancy 1 week notice.

In relation to sick pay, I have only taken 1 day but because I was told to and I was luckily paid for that day as pay was discretionary.

I was once able to get a settlement from a company for unfair dismissal (I was over the 2 year point). The money I received after the 4 months before settlement was 1/2 the amount I would have earned just gone on and worked someone where else. Because the settlement was paid as expected in one lump sum, it took me just over the threshold to claim benefits!

The whole duty of care thing (even if I was in work) is challenging in customer facing roles, when their is nothing visually wrong and the cog fog causes problems that can’t be glossed over intermediately.

Mortgage - Can’t move away as my only support network is local. I am very aware of mortgage holidays and the way they prevent you getting a renewal especially if in and out of work like me. This is the same way that covid has made more people realise the challenges this brings. It all becomes a path to having nothing as that is the way the system is designed.

Sorry if I sound negative but trust me I have tried everything and unfortunately I have been left off worse each time. The system support people (badly) if they have nothing for the rest support is a journey to nothing. There is no help for self sufficiency.

have to say i had the opposite. i had a critical illness insurance as a matter of course, a mortgage protection etc.

when i got sick i was treated with nothing but kindness and helpfulness. thankfully at the beginning of my career the advice i got was pretty good from a money man.

IT seems then you have come to empass i would then talk to your mortgage provider and ask if they can help with the mortgage contact anyone else and ask for payment holidays etc. my daughter has her own business and got grants from governement which paid her rent and other things, and had to cut right back on living, but has gotten through it all with her partner who change his job.

sorry no one can help you, but all we can do is commiserate.

I hope you find help soon enough. x