Been told 'it's likely' and can't stop thinking I'm broken and won't get fixed

Hi,
My name is Stuart and I’m 48 years old, married with 2 young boys and consider myself as being in genrerally good health, until recently.
After a few months of tingly/aching left arm my symptoms have continued to develop and now I’m tingly/numb down my whole left side. Visited the neurologist who said it’s likely I’ve got MS.
Been trying to put it to one side for Christmas and should be having an MRI in the next few days to confirm.
The thought I can’t get out of my head is that I’m broken and can’t be fixed. I hate myself for thinking this as know so many more people are worse off than me and my symptoms are mild but mind is rushing to places I don’t want to go and bordering on depression.
Really grateful to read some of this forum and seeing how much support and community is out there so hoping some who have been through what I’m going through might recommend resources to read, thinks to educate myself to help counteract the fear I’m feeling.
Thank you everyone.
Stuart

Best place to start are the websites of the MS Society and the MS Trust. They will give you a balanced well researched foundation.

There are plenty of other enthusiasts promoting their own system in same way people follow football teams.

Dr Google will come up with lots of suggestions but you need sound foundations before looking at the many self proclaimed experts. Try to maintain your interests outside the MS bubble.

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Hello Stuart.

OK, I know, I understand how your emotions will be running at 100 miles an hour.

Everyone feels like this when MS is mentioned.
I was there too and of a similar age to you.
That was 25 years ago!

I have PPMS.

Let your neuro complete the tests…it may not be MS, but even if it is, there are lots of DMDs (meds) available now and they could well delay further problems.

Stop googling and get reliable info from MS Society…the have a library with everything explained.

Yes, life is different with MS…but with good support from family, friends and the professionals, it can still be a good one chuck!
Boudsx

Hi Stuart,

No one knows what is round the corner. One of the things my MS has helped me to understand is the difference between being aware of possibilities (+ve or -ve) and worrying about possibilities. You can only do the best with the hand you are dealt.
You should not “hate yourself” save your energy to make the most of having a family and enjoying the good stuff.
I am not dismissing the very real fears we might face but I am suggesting it is important (in my opinion) to live in the moment.
Wishing you and your family all the best.
Mick

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There isn’t anything that is going to make you feel ok about this, so don’t be thinking you’ve missed something obvious because you haven’t.

Where you are is not fun and we’ve all been through our personal versions of it and I for one can’t think of anything good to say about it except that it doesn’t keep feeling this bad. Even if you do have MS, and I hope you don’t, you will find that something that looks surprisingly like normal will reassert itself as the inexorable demands of work and family life demand your energy and your attention just as they usually do. You will find a way through.

Hi Stuart,

I was diagnosed just before Christmas so this is all new to me too.

I know it’s very scary but the research and help for MS has come on leaps and bounds over the years (I have a few acquaintances with MS also so I was familiar before my diagnosis)

It’s easier said than done but try researching but keep an open mind try not to read the worst and be biased.

People can live a normal life with MS yes some symptoms are not very nice and will get in the way some days but if you are currently experiencing mild symptoms it’s not a guarantee they will get worse

So if you can take the mind set of take each day as it comes. You have an answer to the symptoms you are having which you have undoubtedly been having for a while as MS is hard to diagnose. So at least now you will know what is happening and I personally find that a relief as to knowing something didn’t feel right and be told by GPs they couldn’t find anything or I’m fine.

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I just want to say I can’t thank you enough for the messages.
I put things to one side for Christmas but reading your messages (as well as more MS Society info) has helped my start get my head around things more.

I’m not saying I’m all sorted yet but I really appreciate you taking the time to reply. It has made me feel so much better about prospects so thank you all.

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Hi Stuart - I have 2 sons - grown men now and a great wife - was diagnosed 20 years ago and been on copaxone for a long time now - still on my feet - been a roller coaster and going through severe left leg pain at the minute - winter and my MS don’t get on - everyone’s journey is different and I take anti-depressants to keep my mood stable and just take each day as it comes - I’m 55 this year so keep battling on - good luck and things like the numbness etc will come and go hopefully.

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Hi Stuart, what news?

Hi,
MS diagnosis confirmed before Christmas. Put that aside for the festive period but once through that been doing a lot of reading I’m feeling a lot better about things.
Learnt that MS isn’t the thing I thought it was with the initial shock and being positive going forward.
MS nurses team at the hospital seem great and very supportive. Have been approved for kesimpta treatment and just waiting for it to arrive and begin to find my balance.
Currently off dairy as I thing that’s not helped as both arms suffering a bit.

Really grateful for the support from this group initially when my head was spinning. Looking at local support groups I can join and then maybe ‘pay it forward’.

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I am sorry about your news, but thank you for the update.