Well, after all the excitement, not to say panic, we are definitely not going to Austria.
My friend lost a load of money cancelling her flight tickets (not because of me) which she’d already bought, and now feels tainted by the whole thing, and doesn’t want to try again.
Had not been feeling very well anyway - have a vague idea I may have had a very minor, non-specific relapse recently - so feeling partly relieved, but partly really crestfallen, and most of all, stupid, as I’d been telling people - you lot, my mum etc. - and everyone was saying: “Oh, well done!” and really egging me on to go.
Now I’m doing nothing, as usual. No fancy cakes in Vienna, no nothing.
Keep wondering, was I asking too much of myself anyway? Was I really in the right state, physically or mentally, to be doing it?
And of course, I’ve saved a shedload of money, so every cloud…
But I just feel like I’ve had all the stress of trying to go away, but none of the end result - the actual holiday.
She’s talking about going to Cornwall for a few days, instead, which I’m open to, but it’s not the same.
I’d bought new batteries and memory cards for the camera, obtained my EHIC card, and have even been practicing my German of over 30 years ago! What a waste of time!
I know she didn’t do it on purpose, and I can understand she feels bitter about losing a load of money (she’s employed, but a freelancer, so income is erratic and not great).
It’s just very unlike me even to get as far as saying yes, I would try, so I was congratulating myself on that, but now it isn’t happening anyway.
Had a lot of stress for no good reason, and now left with nothing to look forward to at the end of it. The worst of both worlds - aggravation, but no reward.