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Anniversary of diagnosis thoughts please?

Hi All

Next week marks the date of my diagnosis 2 years ago, I know some people will find this strange but the date I dont think will ever leave me. I joked with my Mum last week that we should have a special tea which for me includes cake . I think Mum and Dad both thought I was a little nuts for wanting to mark it. I would also like to take in cakes for my work colleagues but now not sure people wont think why the hell is she marking this. I don’t want people to think poor Trace because of this I want them to join me in thinking I am doing well and it could have been a hell of alot worse. It’s not like I would bring them in a make a huge announcement it would just be if someone asked why we had them and it wasn’t my birthday and a busy time at work etc.

If anything else you will see from this post that I like cake

Maybe I should keep things more to myself and that would solve the issue completely

Not sure what to do.

Tracey

x

Hi Tracey,

I always remember it (always only being twice, so far), but never mark it. No, it’s not something I want to celebrate, and certainly not to make a big thing of with work colleagues (not that I’m working at the moment anyway, but that’s another story - I did until fairly recently).

I suppose, the only positive thing about it, from my point of view, is I think: “OK, another year in which I didn’t die, and nothing else really terrible happened…”

They reckon how you fare in the first five years is a good indication of how it will pan out overall - though nothing’s guaranteed, of course. I keep telling myself: “OK, halfway there now - 2.5 years - Manage another 2.5 the same, and, the chances are, you’re going to survive this reasonably OK…”

But of course, I’m very conscious of the “one-day-at-a-time” philosophy, too. In a way, every day nothing dreadful happens - or at least, nothing I couldn’t cope with - is its own small anniversary.

I remember being outraged either last year, or the year before, that MS Day was my birthday! I thought: “Noooooo! It’s my BD; I don’t want it being bloody MS’s day as well!”

So no, it doesn’t get any cakes from me, and I resented the one time I was supposed to share my BD with it.

What you do is up to you, though.

If you’ve ever read or heard dramatisations of Samuel Pepys’ diaries, you might know that he celebrated every year “being delivered of the stone” - which meant that he’d had a successful operation to remove a bladder/kidney stone. Surgery was, of course, a much more risky procedure in those days, so success and survival was indeed something to be thankful for. He had a little party each year. Not quite the same as being Dx’ed with MS, perhaps, but commemorating a medical event certainly has a famous precedent.

My own MS anniversary is sandwiched in between the anniversary of my father’s funeral, and my Mum’s BD (who is still with us).

So I’ve got two horrid anniversaries the same week, but then a nice one (Mum’s BD).

Tina

z

hi tracey

i understand your wanting to mark the date

if it makes you feel good, do it! (there was an old disco song with that line)

i found the first 12 months were full of firsts - first time i injected myself and many others

so i felt proud of myself for surviving the first year

now 4 years on and i’m getting cheesed off with the firsts - self catheterisation doesnt fill me with pride!

ah well, i learned how to do it so maybe i’ll mark the day again

carole x

Hi Tracey It has been a year since I had my first main relapse which has left me with lots of residual problems plus a few extra which keep coming and going. I am not pleased to have MS but I am really pleased with the way I have adapted and tried to battle it…so far! I had to give up a cake business when it happened as I lost use of my right hand completely and although a lot of function has returned to my hand I still can’t do things I want to. I still do cakes for family and friends as they understand if I have to cancel last minute…even have a website. Anyway I think cake is a good idea…any excuse for cake is a good idea! Like you say not going in with a banner but telling people if they ask. I told everyone I work with about my dx and they have all been amazing at helping me…if everyone has been supportive at your place of work it could just be a thank you. Just a thought : ) Mish x

My seventh anniversary fell last week. I didn’t mark it with cake or anything else, but I do like cake, though I am on a diet so it’s a no-no just now! I am retired but when I worked we marked lots of occasions with cake, birthdays, anniversaries, promotions, transfers, retirements, resignations, sometimes just because the sun was shining, or to cheer us up because it was raIning, or even because it was Tuesday, or whatever the day was!

Why not mark the occasion of the anniversary of your diagnosis - it seems like a good enough excuse to eat cake with your colleagues, and shows that you are upbeat and haven’t lost your sense of humour.

Eat cake for me, then let me know if I enjoyed it!! Love Yvonne

Thank you all for your comments. I’m still not sure, I think sometimes people don’t know what to say when I joke about things. But what I have said the whole way through is if I am joking about something or joining in I am ok if I am quiet then something is up. I am still working full time have an 8 and 4 year old and still have their swimming lessons and eldest’s piano lessons to run them around to. Hubby bless him has decided to learn to drive so that he can help more with the ferrying around should things go t*ts up. I do have days where I worry about the future as I don’t know what it holds but then I look around my office and 3 people have been diagnosed with cancer, one is terminal. Another colleagues 5 year old daughter passed away just before Xmas, so my life could be a hell of a lot worse and for that I am thankful. Tracey X

You’ve got a great outlook. I’m very much the same as you and as crap as it is I’m gonna try to rise above it, so to speak and not let it get me down too much. Like you say you look around and other people do make you feel lucky. My friend lost her nine year old a year ago and she understandably is really struggling coming to terms with this. Only yesterday I was at a wedding and a wedding guest got a call to say her dad had collapsed and died suddenly of a heart attack. I won’t let it beat me although sometimes it feels like it is, but then it wins doesn’t it. Good on ya and enjoy your cake x

Hi Tracey. I think I know where you are coming from. I was diagnosed with remitting relapsing on 31st dec 1990. My boys were12, 8 and my son who has cerebral palsy was 4. I really worried about going downhill before they reached adulthood. As it turned out I got 17 yrs where my only symptoms were fatigue and vertigo once or twice a year. So I feel that I was lucky to be spared very bad health for all that time. I have been secondary progressive for 7yrs and have a lot of symptoms but still have a reasonable quality of life. I think if you want to mark the occasion then go ahead. life is too short so you should do whatever makes you happy

Mary

Hi Tracey

I always quietly mark the anniversary of my first symptoms and my official diagnosis (almost four years ago now). If you want to celebrate another year that you have successfully coped with MS, then go for it. I agree with other comments, I too love cake and will find any excuse so go for it. You only have to share the reason with the people you can trust, but it sounds as if they have been very supportive so it shouldn’t be an issue.

At first I only shared my diagnosis with close colleagues but it turned out that they weren’t all that supportive especially when my relapse at the time took a long while to go into remission and I had to take time off work frequently for several months. The following year I did make a big announcement, in the run up to my second Cake Break, and it was a huge success (both the Cake Break and the announcement). Nearly everyone knew, or had known, someone with MS and they wanted to donate more generously because I had told a bit about my story. I suddenly found I had a lot more support within the school that I had ever had before and some colleagues revealed that they had ‘hidden’ illnesses too so we found some common ground and more respect for each other. Last year’s Cake Break was my best yet; I raised £312 and that was following some redundancies so there were less staff to contribute. Hopefully I can at least match that this year.

Cake is good for so many reasons

Tracey x

Good for you wanting to celebrate it, if it makes you feel good do it. However I just want to put the date of diagnosis to the back of my mind, I went for my MRI & results alone, my then husband (now ex) refused to go with me and never accepted the diagnosis & that was 18+ years ago, even now after recently been told it’s now SP he refuses to discuss it, just say’s what will be will be (a***hole) As for cake I love it :slight_smile: it just dosent love me :frowning: only have to look at it & put weight on. Lol