My dad has Primary Progressive MS and until recently was doing OK. He has lost mobility in his legs and is starting to lose grip with his hands. He has a good care team in place who visit 4 times a day.
Lately, he seems to be getting very anxious and depressed about his condition. He thinks he is “pathetic” because he needs care and keeps trying to do things for himself and recently burned himself trying to make a cup of tea. I’m worried that he is going to have to go into residential care. Any changes to his usual surroundings or routine really upset him and moving into care would probably break him.
I live 200 miles away and am an only child. My mum passed 6 years ago.
He is also getting confused and agitated. When I check my phone at work I often had upwards of 5 missed calls that he has no memory of making. It’s currently 5 am and I’m awake because he just phoned to tell me his carers hadn’t been for 24 hours and he was stuck in bed, which isn’t true - I had spoken to him earlier last night before he went to sleep and he was in good spririts and told me he had had a good laugh with the carers who had just been in.
Dad has always been an anxious person, even before his MS diagnosis. I’ve often thought he should seek treatment for depression. I’ve tried to talk to him about it but he is of the generation that doesn’t believe in depression and has said that he would feel silly taking part in a talking therapy and doesn’t want to take more pills. I don’t know what to do, should I contact his GP on his behalf? He used to have a really nice MS nurse, but she moved away, and he hasn’t seen her replacement in over a year. She does have a large rural area to cover, but it feels a bit like he’s been forgotten about.
This is starting to take it’s toll on me. I’m constantly checking my phone to make sure he hasn’t been trying to get hold of me and feel horribly guilty for not dropping everything to move back home and care for him. My work and social life are taking a hit. I don’t know if this forum is the appropriate place to post this or not, I’m sure there are many many people who have heavier burdens than me, but it’s 5am and I’m feeling sorry for myself and it seemed the most appropriate place.
Does anyone have any advice?