A life ruined by multiple sclerosis

[alison100]

It’s funny, this different cultures business. There’s many a person over here in England (where the polite habit is, as you observe, not to offer comment on, or even be caught noticing, a difference from ‘normal’) who wants to scream in frustration because they feel that no one even notices or cares that they can’t walk properly or are otherwise obviously in some sort of physical or cognitive disarray. People here with MS or other obvious disabilities sometimes long for a bit of honest interest - even just an acknowledgement that there is something amiss. Over here, you usually only get kind of frank curiosity in children.

To be fair, I am talking in particular of the south of England, where most people live. It is a bit different further north or in Northern Ireland, where I come from. But the English are generally very polite and do not want to intrude uninvited, and that is one of the things I particularly like about living here - I like that reserve and respect for one’s personal space and dignity.

Alison

[Inactive_User]

You know I fool myself like some great pretender that I’m doing all right but in my defence, living on my own has truly turned me into mr. bad guy. I realize as time goes by, my chances of fooling around are dimming. Now, I know that love kills, especially when fat bottom girls come into play and being the good old fashion lover boy that I am, I just can’t prevent being the loser at the end. Everybody around me keeps telling me that some day, one day I’m going to meet that special somebody and I just can’t wait anymore. Sometimes I just want to go stone cold crazy and just randomly introduce myself to the first cutie I see sitting by herself but I don’t want to give anybody a sheer heart attack. Honestly, I just don’t know when and where I will meet the love of my life, but I know for now, I’m in good company.

[Inactive_User]

My point exactly. I have an obvious setback and I don’t want anybody that I don’t know and have no sincere relationship with to know what I’m going through. As the conversation progresses, I pretty much always tell people what my problem is(so they’d take it slow and easy).

[Inactive_User]

Well thank you. I’m hoping something will happen. I realized the only people I can really impress are the people in my professional caliber. There has got to be some single, recently graduated, just started working English teacher out there who may, through coincidence or chance show up in that kind of setting. And from earlier experiences I can say that impressing English teachers is what I do best(muhahahaha!)

[Carraboy]

Ha ha !!! Yeah, you win ! I’m outta songs (bar Who wants to live forever…) Me and my mate used to listen to Queen at uni, where I drank black coffee and he downed whiskey… wasted time… oh, onto Skid Row songs now. …

[Inactive_User]

Here’s the deal about her: At university, one of my most dear and favorite lecturers had proposed to her(her name is inci) and she turned him down. Now, the rest of the story gets very emotional and upsetting. At the seminar where we met(inci and I), I ran into one of my former classmates and she gave me a piece of news that I wish she hadn’t: “Have you heard what’s happened to mr. Tuncay(that was my lecturer’s name)? He died 3 years ago in a car crash.” For the next 15-20 minutes, I fought the tears then I just went into the restroom and cried my eyes out for the next 10. When I found out she(inci) and I had graduated from the same university, I told her that piece of information I had just received and she started crying, too. Of course I had no idea what had gone on between the two of them. The seminar was a 5 day event and the school where it was held was far off from my regular route so inci offered to pick me up in the mornings and drop me off in the afternoons as she had a car. As conversation progressed, I found out that we had graduated from the same department, she had worked in the exact places I worked before state employment. Now, under normal circumstances, you would think that the two of you are destined to be together, right? How many times you meet somebody who’s been through the exact same ordeal? Apparently, she didn’t think so.

[Inactive_User]

Well, thank you. You know I have a Bachelor’s Degree in English Literature. Teaching is my master’s. Oh, the Shakespeares and the Chaucers and the Romantics. God, I miss the days. We used to write pages upon pages of essay as exam papers. I remember handing in 6-7 page exam papers(and getting 55-60 points for it). You know, FM is my musical muse but every time I start listening to music, eventually I come to a point where I have to yell out, “WAR ENSEMBLE!” followed by “GOD HATES US ALL, GOD HATES US ALL, GOD HATES US ALL, GOD HATES US ALL!”

[mcfee333]

Do you not have any friends you can confide in? It is hard being isolated when having this disease, there was a time when I isolated my self from the world(except my close family members) things can change and I hope they change for the better for you

[Inactive_User]

God doesnt hate us all. No way. He gave you a brain didnt he, and you can use it. Start using your energy to find away out of your mess.

Your looking towards the states why not seek a job in the UK? I worked in the community they are always looking for ESOL teachers, or literacy teachers. You have all the degrees you could walk into a job. You could even do an ESOL qualification online. Lots of translators needed too in this country. An Easy Jet flight to gatwick is about 90euro.

There are ways of moving on with MS. Your lucky you have it young at least you can fight it and i believe you mentioned you are on disease modifying drugs. You have the energy obviously and your clearly very intelligent, I quite enjoyed your repertoire with the songs lol, very clever.

You obviously do have a sense of humour. I am starting to warm to you, jeez arnt you the lucky one lol.

If i was in your position with your brain, and energy I would find a way to get out of there although I think i read you have met someone who might be able to help you.

Dont let having MS be a barrier to you moving on. Loads of people have MS, hell in UK registered over 100,000 and many work.

If you get a lecturer drop you dont need to work full time.

Also you could be a teacher for an ONLINE company, they need teachers especially of English and literacy.

Learn Direct is one of them. Online tutor | Explore careers | National Careers Service

Lots of ways you can use your skills even musical ones.

I was a brilliant I.T. tutor and i taught basic living skills to drug and alcohol unit, I loved my work and it broke me when i had to leave but i try to help people now in other ways.

I have even started web designing for friends who have started their own business and have done several now. I do it for nothing, but they would have paid me if i had asked.

In this world you hardly need to move off your chair to earn a living.

God has made you multi talented your the lucky one really.

[Inactive_User]

I find it odd that people have the time to notice you to be honest. In the UK for example i walk with my careworker when i walk, mostly shopping i use my wheelchair.

I have had some smiles when i have gone off balance even with her, and i joke and say OOPS need to put more water in me whiskey lol, and they just smile and laugh with me. I dont walk around thinking people are watching me, who cares, i dont.

I am usually chatting too much lol to notice others.

You seem totally focused on having MS, like there is a big label on your forehead lol.

Yes you live in a different culture i get that, i was brought up in many different cultures, from Asia, to Africa and back again…

Maybe what you need to do is walk straight and tall and proud even if you use a stick and just focus on what your doing and not what they are doing. Smile at people as if life is good. It is good I love it. Every day is a different challenge for me lol.

I never tell people i have MS hell half of the people i have said that too dont even know what it is. Oh you have MS whats that lol… My mum still calls it MNS, like Marks & Spencer shop lol…she is Italian so i forgive her that lol.

IF someone asks me which is rare to be honest I just say nothing much I am just neurologically challenged… and leave it at that. Basically in the grand scheme of things I am quite healthy.

Now if i said i had cancer they would be soooooo sympathetic but MS whats that lol. Hell even my neuro doesnt know what MS is lol.

Personally i dont care a fig what other people think of me as I am out. I dont know them, dont have to live with them, and dont have the energy to waste my valuable resources worrying about then either lol.

Everybody anyway has their own poop to cope with in this world.

I actually find most people very supportive and kind. Maybe its because I am an old women now lol, although in my head i am still 21. Or maybe its my AURA that i let out. Its full of positive energy even though i feel like poop inside.

I am a positive person and always see the best in people.

Anyway now i am simply waffling on… sorry about that.

Then one day you find, ten years have got behind you. No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun. - We’re just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl year after year.

[Carraboy]

Hey dude. The degree ??? No. Have you mentioned that before ??? (sarcasm - the yanks don’t get that apparently) I have a B.A. Hons too, and this time I aren’t spinning a yarn. Listen to golden girl !!!

[Inactive_User]

Yeah god doesn’t hate us all, just some of us But that’s an inside joke only metalheads like us will understand(unless you want to start listening to Slayer at this age, lol). I don’t think the universities I’ve graduated have equivalency for me to be able to work in the UK. Well, I’m warming up to you, too On a side note, today(July 23rd) is my birthday.So, I’m officially 33 as of today.

[Carraboy]

Happy birthday dude !!! May you Reign in blood… Cancerian as well !!! (Or do you class yourself as Leo ? )

[Inactive_User]

(Growls) thank you very much. First day of Leo(I feel like a Roman commander on the battlefield). On a serious note, how can I find out if I have equivalency? I’m seriously intrigued. By the way, I made this just yesterday. Tell me what you think about it: - YouTube

It is really a very carefully made mix of two different renditions. Tried getting in touch with the original artists, but in this day and age, everybody seems to live in delusions of grandeur.

[Carraboy]

Yeah, that sounds alright. Not into opera to be fair (Within Temptation about as close as I get. …) but sounds ok. On a tangent, check out ‘Games of chairs’ send up by Sesame street. My son loves it…It’s played with chairs…

[Lollipop]

Happy Birthday, r3gr3ssor!

We’re just [a few] souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year

[DoctorGeoff]

Sounds like a reworked version of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs to me.

And I had to write this before I clicked on the link. I don’t really care what it is based on - if it works, it works!

Geoff

[Inactive_User]

I was listening to heavy metal music before you were even born lol… I was and am a rock chick. I still listen to loads of them, and have lots of original LPs in my wardrobe. One of my favorite bands is King Crimson, Metalica and Anthrax, Deep Purple, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Motley Crue, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, to name but a few. I used to listen to Slayer, but to be honest the other groups mention are far superior. Not so impressed with the demo The Stillness Comes from their new album Repentless…its got some bad reviews dude.

I am into Foo Fighters at the moment, and indie Band Bastille and hey I listen to loads of other stuff too dare i say it even Barbra Streisand lol.

I have very eclectic taste in music and will listen to all types regardless of my age.

I have been listening all morning so far to Jethro Tull, and The Strawbs.

Oh by the way I am a Leo too, but i will be 64 on the 1st lol.

I am not sure about the equivalency to your degrees etc you can ask, or google. I had a tutor working for me from the states and she got a job doing literacy and numeracy I dont think she had a problem because she was working with Adult learners not in a school, thats slightly different.

Anyway, like i said i was head banging way before you were born lol…in Germany too going to some of the best concerts ever in the very late sixties early seventies…those were the days… lol.

[Inactive_User]

I have never watched The Game of thrones, but i loved your mix, brilliant. I quite like Opera metal/ mix. Have you ever heard Carmina Burana. One of my favorites…

[lapreguiceira]

I’m a singing teacher. I teach free (sing what you like) classes and Rockschool. Check it out, the website is a .uk one as it’s based in London, but there may be a school near you. it could change your life.

I’ve just read your latest replies and you seem to be starting to look outwards a bit. for a man, 32 is the perfect age to learn to sing. Any age is a good age to learn to sing. Freddie Mercury was an excellent singer, one of the very best ever. If you copy him, you’ll be on the right track.

Keep singing, please don’t stop.

K