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Worried about family member

Have just got off the phone from a quick call to my brother about nothing in particular and am now in a state of near hysteria - but calming down as I write this. Thanks for listening!

He mentioned casually the pain he’s getting intermittently in his intercostal muscles and how he really must rest up (lol, men, any excuse).

This sounds just like me before I was diagnosed: “My leg won’t work properly; it must be a trapped nerve. I can’t feel my arm; must’ve twisted it. My back’s burning; must’ve had too hot a bath. I can’t see straight; must be tired. I can’t feel my bum; must’ve been sitting down too long. I can’t write properly; must’ve been gripping too hard. I feel dizzy; must be something I ate. My sides ache; must’ve twisted awkwardly.” etc. etc.

Should I mention to his wife for her to keep an eye out for other symptoms? Yes, he could’ve strained his intercostal muscles, but his description of it coming and going didn’t sound much like a strain, and it’s bothering me that early treatment of neurological conditions is recommended these days.

Help! Sane advice appreciated.

Anon on the very small offchance that family are reading

i know how easy it is to start ‘seeing’ ms in the people we love, i’ve done it myself with 2 different people, including my daughter. all i can say is that in my case, i told my daughter to keep an eye. she knows that it’s more likely to develop ms when a close family member has itbut probably won’t happen. i don’t think she has ms at this point, but i’ll probably do it again. you could just try to lightly say how easy it is to be paranoid about loved ones. just to make him conscious of the possibility, without scaring him. if you tell his wife only, you might just be sharing paranoia with her instead.

hope you come to something approaching a solution.

wendy x

I think I’ll keep quiet for now. He lives too far away for me to see him often and he’s got other things wrong with him, where one problem masked another until it was too late and he’s ended up with heart problems and some brain damage, so it’s difficult to know what’s new stuff anyway.

Thanks for those wise words - I knew I was being hysterical and needed to be calmed down! x

Keep your mouth firmly shut on this one.

With ‘just intermittent pain in his intercostal muscle’ he’ll not even get referred to a neuro - he’s not going to be dx’ with m.s. so the question of early treatment wont arise.