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Where have my friends gone?

Hi everyone, I’m feeling a little peed off lately. I used to have lots of friends but they seem to be disappearing. Even my so called best friend can’t seem to be bothered these days. I used to see her several times a week, now i’m lucky if it’s once every 2 months. I’d like to go out for a few drinks once in a while, but the lack of friends makes my social life non existant. I’m changing my name to Billy :smiley:

Hello Anon-Billy,have you seen the Big Yellow Thing?I have and it looks like it did about ninety twelve years ago,when it last popped out.The problem with your ‘friends’ is your ‘friends’.They cannot cope with being around you,'cos of their own mortality and vanity issues.

WE know that our darling MS isn’t fatal,but typical ignorant Joe Public will not have it and gets twisted up worrying about how they would cope.Because WE may look different from a ‘normal’ boring bi-ped that upsets their fragile hold on reality.'Ollocks to them and eventually you will end up trusting and being befriended by somebody that you wouldn’t have expected.

I reckon what you’re experiencing is familiar to most of us and it’s just another phase in our ‘Miserable Swine’.

Good luck,

Wb <(L)>

Hi, try joining your local MS social group and make new pals there, eh?

No-one will need an explanation of your condition and you may be able to relax without IT getting in the way!

Those other `friends`` arent worth bothering about.

luv Pollx

[quote=“Boudica”]

Hi, try joining your local MS social group and make new pals there, eh?

No-one will need an explanation of your condition and you may be able to relax without IT getting in the way!

Those other `friends`` arent worth bothering about.

luv Pollx

[/quote] I did go to my local MS group. They were all twice my age if not older. I felt very uncomfortable, and had nothing in common with them except MS

This site is aimed at the younger MSer and might be useful.

http://shift.ms/

There are also regular meet ups in London if you live within range.

https://www.facebook.com/events/490077641047555/

i am trying different volunteer stuff, because afraid being the orginiser does help when you are shattered because nobody else makes the plans and you get left behind, maybe try some volunteering stuff it may help

[quote=“Anonymous”]

Hi everyone, I’m feeling a little peed off lately. I used to have lots of friends but they seem to be disappearing. Even my so called best friend can’t seem to be bothered these days. I used to see her several times a week, now i’m lucky if it’s once every 2 months. I’d like to go out for a few drinks once in a while, but the lack of friends makes my social life non existant. I’m changing my name to Billy :smiley:

[/quote] so so true

why do you think this is general review of folks ideas about this:

a they never liked me anyway

b they think i can no longer do things

c i am too much work as i need to find somewhere that has a good parking space nearby

d i might have changed and not have the same sense of humour(still think my sense of humour is the same)

just a few ideas what do you think

Hi Anon I think b,c & d probably sum it up :frowning: I dont believe my so called friends never liked me it’s just that they see me different now!! It’s their problem not ours like you my sense of humour is still the same I just cant keep up with them anymore as my body wont enable me to do so. The sad thing is they’ll probably need me before I need them - I wont be a burden to anyone so stuff em! Try not to take it to heart I’m past caring these days as long as I’ve got my hubby & family for support.

I think MS is very good for finding out who your true friends are. I still persevere with a few ‘acquaintances’ who don’t really understand but I pick and choose when I go out with them and I don’t worry if I upset them when I turn down a day/night out with them.

My true friends are like my visitors on Saturday who started to tidy up my garden without being asked and said they could still drink tea and chat to me while being useful. They never judge me if the house isn’t tidy, or if I can’t walk far or if I’m just not up to much. On a good day I can walk a couple of miles along the beach with them but on another day we have to stop frequently to deal with my cramps or aching muscles but they never make me feel guilty or like a fraud.

I don’t call so many people ‘friend’ any more but I do know the true meaning of the word. I hope that your friends realise that you still have lots to offer but if not perhaps it’s time to find out who else is around in your area. Most of the members of my local MS branch were very elderly too but I did meet a couple of people who were nearer my age. I now keep in touch with them privately and we only go along to the monthly socials if there’s anything particularly interesting on.

Tracey xx

Hi Anon

yes it is a very hard lesson to learn, yes i believe it is b and c, but what i have found is that comes from people who have no understanding of disability so close their eyes and walk away

i took my hubby to the airport and he was obviously feeling bad as he was booking another golfing trip, so he said could (mentioned a friends name) go away with you. i then on the journey had to explain that some folks would rather not bother as it may include work that they could not handle(it wouldn’t) to cheer him up said I could go with another friend (male) at that he said you cant go on a break with a male friend, oh he is so old fashioned

I also asked first friend to look into horse riding at her local sables, still waiting, ah well back to the drawing board