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When should I tell my mum?

I am 63, semi retired. According to my Neurologist I had undetected MS for some 28 years. He has linked this back to when I tried my hand at lunchtime running and ended up with fuzzy vision. Symptoms of leg drag, lack of stamina, unsteadiness etc only came to the fore in the last two years. Following an operation for a collapsed lung / pleurisy.

My mum is 85 and her health is starting to fail. She is a worrier. She is the full time cater for my dad, who is 91, very frail and has dementia. I visit once a fortnight to help with the shopping and giving her some social contact.

I’ve told her that I have balance issues, have seen a neurologist and had a MRI .

i saw the Neurologist at the end of April, had the MRI last week, I’m now awaiting confirmation of his firm conviction that I have MS. This probably won’t be for at least another 4 weeks.

When do I tell my mum? do I wait until I have had the MS prognosis confirmed, or tell her now.

hi whiteoak

it isn’t for us to tell you when to tell your mum or anyone else.

if you decide to tell her, say that you now know what all the pesky symptoms were caused by.

it must have been going on some while, which to my mind seems like a slow moving ms.

at least wait until your diagnosis has been confirmed.

take it easy

carole x

Different generations have different understanding of all sorts of health issues, recently my younger sisters children had chicken pox. (Past contagious time) She was coming to visit (she lives a 4 hour drive away). My gran was really worried. Both about the children and risk to herself.

Could you tell her that you have a friend or colleague who has been diagnosed with ms and see what her thoughts are ? Just to check if you need to do any educating.

Obviously you want to share with your mum, just thinking that checking that she will understand what ms is and not panic could be a way to deside how to move forward.

Good luck with however you deside to deal with it, sending big hugs.

P.s. I found the idea of telling those who love me very scary.

I’ve decided I’m going to tell my Mum next Thursday, when I see her next. I’m coming to terms with my situation and I’m finding it easier to talk about MS. I’ve got past the self pity stage, and now just need as much info as soon as possible so I can get on with my life and face the challenges.

There is little doubt in my mind it is MS, all the symptoms align.

Of course it’s going to be difficult telling my mum, and some education will be necessary so she doesn’t get too alarmed. Tonight I told my sister so she can give my Mum some emotional support.

the fact sheets available from this site are a good starting point.

the RRMS one has diagrams of our immune system munching on our myelin.

my friend bought me a little wooden mouse!

my son who had just qualified as an electrician related it all to faulty wiring!