I’m a carer for my wife (Tog) who has had 2pms for many years, can’t use her legs at all, very limited use of hands/arms so needs help with drinking and feeding and personal hygiene. There are many other pwms at a more difficult point so we’re relatively lucky, but I wonder how their unpaid carers cope, especially where folk have cognitive problems? We’re all different and find our own way - there’s no answer that meets all needs, but I would love to know how others manage to keep sane.
For our part, we use a lot of humour, often childish but as long as it makes us smile that’s OK. We watch people passing outside and they all have names (e.g. fraudulent stick grandad, Mrs Sparkle, draggy girl, bouncy boy and others I’d better not name here!). We name the kit we use (Cathy the catheter, Sheila the shower chair, Keiser Bill the large pressure-reducing armchair …).
Much harder to do, but of great value to me when I can do it, is to ACCEPT a situation, inwardly, and not react. It doesn’t mean you like the situation, but if you can accept what IS, then you can think rationally and work out how best to move forward. It might be a situation where something keeps going wrong, or something ‘sharp’ that’s said, or just when I’m tired and irritable. I don’t always succeed with acceptance, but I’m getting better at it slowly and it does help me.
So I was wondering what things other carers have found helpful for them. By sharing ideas we might help others, me included.