Crazy Chick,
Your Python reference made me smile, this is a good thing, and I thank you.
I tend to share my negative & bad stuff with close friends and family,it is a bit easier and they usually make allowances or cut me some slack.
(thanks for the earworm, it is defeating my tinnitus!!! - I will bank the victory 
Keep whistling
Mick
Yes but nurse says Iâm not allowed more than 2 bottles a week.
Like the new picture btw Ant. The kind of thing that makes me smile and feel better about how sh!tty MS is!
Sue
2 bottles should do itâŚ
Is the new Icon picture Marty Feldman / a photoshop error or the result of too much booze?
M
Admittedly Iâm on downer at the moment.
Around me are people trying to cheer me up - if I post a message on this site about depression well-intentioned people will offer solutions to brighten things.
Why?
The point I am making is that I donât choose to be depressed but I want to have that bit of respect where I am treated for what or who I am.
I donât want to be encouraged to be cheery or to put on a happy face and even if it discomfits some people. I want to be allowed to be what I am.
I disagree. Sometimes itâs very cathartic to post on here, say, âI feel like cr@p, this disease is depressing the hell out of meâ and not have people kindly suggesting counselling or therapy or any other thing that may have helped them. Sometimes itâs good to hear someone else say, âyes I know what you mean, it is utterly bloody awful to be struck down in the prime of life, to have the best years of your life stolen from youâ, to be empathic but not patronising (Iâm not saying that suggesting counselling, CBT or other therapies is necessarily patronising).
For those of us whoâve had MS for a long time, those of us who are very badly disabled, those of us who decided not to have children because of MS, those of us who feel utterly guilty because we did have children either before or after diagnosis, those of us with PPMS, or SPMS, highly active RRMS, RRMS but who cannot take DMDs, or for whom the DMD revolution came about too late, and for those of us who are struggling with work, families, relationships, mortgages, benefits, etc, etc, etc, there are times when itâs OK to shout out that having MS is shit.
And not be told all the ways we could be happier. Or to soldier on. Sometimes able bodied people need to be told âI feel terribleâ when they ask âhow are youâ. And sometimes this forum is a brilliant place to be able to say MS has ruined / is ruining my life.
Sue
krakowian,
Without knowing you, I respect who you are and how you feel. We are all very different and have varied conditions and responses.The responses are neither right or wrong, they are completely personal.
I also respect other peoples intentions to help, even when the help is not wanted. (I have an âOâ level in having varied responses to other peoples intensions - maybe in another 50 or so years I might get it right - just donât hold your breath)
Mick
Sue,
I can not disagree with you. I wonder if this makes me a fence sitter!
Mick
Get a T-shirt printed with the slogan and symbol âI am who I am, your approval is not needed.â
Thank you Spacey.
Actually, Mr F. is more handsome than I am. Itâs against the law to put a face like mine on public forums.
Alby.
Now Ian(?), I think you are being pedantic. 
Itâs obvious youâre on a downer, but the fact that youâve posted on here tells me you are looking for a response, yes? People are only suggesting things that they have found helpful for such times in the past, be it yoga, mindfulness, weed, malt whiskey, beating the crap out of a drum, whatever. Nobody chooses to be depressed. Of course they donât. Iâve been blasted by a guy on here recently, (a new member) because I suggested doing some of these things. He virtually âwiped the floorâ with me. Will I still post? Yes, I will, because I have the right to my opinion here as anybody else.
I havenât noticed anybody suggesting you âput on a happy faceâ. Donât! Why should you feel you need to?! You say you want to be allowed to be what you are. Fine. Be that. Wallow in despair. We wouldnât have known you were âwallowingâ if you hadnât posted. Iâm not actually sure what it is you want from your post. As stated by Crazychick I think, damned if you do and damned if ya donât! Now what should I sayâŚ"snap out of it?, go and watch a box set?, phone a friend?, write it all down?.
Nope, Iâll leave you to it. Wallow to your hearts content but donât blast people who only mean well, particularly when you have initiated the conversation. Manys the time Iâve told people, âtoday is not a good day. Iâm actually quite pi**sed off and donât want to do anything, okay?â. Most people accept that. Tomorrow is another day⌠Now dare I say itâŚ? Have a good evening!
Thing is people donât really care if you are depressed or not.But do not try and belittle people for trying to help people that have asked for help.I was once very badly depressed to the point my life wasnât worth living,i asked for help and took some good advice that got me on the road to recovery,without it i donât think i would be here.It comes across in your posts just how unhappy and depressed you are.
You have every right to wallow and to be as miserable and depressed as you choose to be.
We donât expect miracles with meds or counselling or whatever, as our bodies are irrepairably damaged.
What we can do is choose to try different ideas, if we want a chance to feel better.
The rest is up to you!
Pollx
m.s. has mucked up great deal of my life - my career suffered and subsequent financial difficulties - relationships have at times been fraught - I canât remember the last time I felt really well - I carry the burden of knowing one of my two children has m.s.
How this affects me mood wise is something out of my control.
Sometimes I hit rock bottom and that I accept.
What I am going on about is that every time someone posts a message about being down or having a problem people rush to offer solutions - counselling, meditation etc.
When I post a message about my pain of having a child with m.s. the response is invariably - âitâs not hereditaryâ (isnât it ??) or âthereâs a cure round the cornerâ
There is a well-meaning reluctance to acknowledge someone elseâs pain and people have an inherent desire to help others.
But is it being really helpful?
I would far rather someone acknowledge that getting m.s. is being dumped on from a great height, I would rather they acknowledge that I get depressed and take things from there. I donât want to be coerced or humoured or persuaded to be happy when Iâm not.
mrsJ - I would never be critical of anyone who asks for help. What Iâm saying is that those who impose their good wishes or their solutions on us are not really helping.
I like your post Sue - it is honest and you tell it as it is,
Sorry about your child possibly having MS. Dont you think a lot of us have suffered losses with MS. Maybe you should start a thread, how much have you lost with MS or somethingâŚ
I had a great job earning 25,000 a year, i loved it and worked hard to get it in the first place. I had to wait 10 years to get a diagnoses being treated like crap and difference a long the way.
I have 4 grandchildren all suffering with either ADHD, or depression, one suicidal and cutting. I worry everyday that i may give this disease to one of them. Both my daughters are disabled, with one thing and another. I just lost my mother she died through NHS neglect.
My husband is dying with COPD and he ignores all health advice, I am watching him slowly killing himself with cigarettes, it makes me feel awful like he has given up on us both.
My sister is just recovered from another bout of breast cancer and has lost both breasts now. My brother has inherited RA, my other one dysautomia, and my eldest is crippled with rheumatoid arthritis.
Everyday is a struggle for me to get up i dont want too i have had enough, the pain is relentless especially at night. What have i got to look forward to today, oh yes exclusion, i cant get out on my own i have to rely on someone, i cant drive i not only have MS i have Transient Epileptic Amnesia, and loose minutes even hours sometimes and have ended up in hospital several times not knowing what i am doing. I am not allowed to drive anymore. I feel like a prisoner in my own home. I rarely see anyone expect my husband who is about as useless as a chocolate teacup.
So yes i am depressed. I dont tell people on here because hell they probably are too, and why make their lives harder, i have 65 good years, and would rather be up beat with people, and try to help them then let then be ignored.
If anyone writes they feel depressed etc i always believe its a cry for help.
In future i will be more careful who i help. I know you are talking about me in some respects because you challenged a post i put on, but i notice you never answered it.
Anyway I have played my hand now, shall we now have a spar about who has suffered the most? Maybe that will make us both feel much better.
I always look on the bright side of life, as now i have a wedding to look forward too my step daughter is finally getting married she is 44 after some terrible failed relationships but it is so sad too as she has bought it forward as her mother after 5 years of being cancer free now has it in her bones and is dying so she wants her to be there. I have helped as much as I can but i am still excited for her but it is so bitter sweet and i know i will have to be there for her when the time finally comes for her mum to leave her. Even saying all that there is always something good for us to look forward too if we look in the right places. x
MrsJ - You are an inspiration to so many of us. Not that -that sort of knowledge is going to make you feel any better - but you are one of us - who have had far more than your share of life-changing problems to deal with. And you have shared with us the times when your life has been really at a low. And so many lovely folk have replied with heartfelt sympathy and concern - and you have made it through another difficult time.
And yet, you are ALWAYS one of the first to offer support to others.
One thing l have realised - over the years - is that people whose condition is causing them to be depressed are the last to accept that they are indeed depressed. They live in denial.
Thank you so much Frances for your kind words. You and the lovely people on the ppms forum have lifted my spirits a lot this last few year,such a lovely bunch of wise and kind people.
Well said Crazy. I think your life and your familyâs has been blighted by rotten health indeed!
But even in the face of untold adversity, you manage to see something worth hanging on for, bless you.
Krakowian, I have seen posts where people are in terrible despair. Their replies are mixed with ,yes we now how you feel as we feel the same. And offers of something which might help.
The reason for this kind of forum is, that it is for groups of similarly affected people, who do their utmost to keep each other above water. It works like that for most. We canât stop everyone from drowning.
Sad, but a fact of life. Youâve made it clear what you donât want. Iâll respect that and wish you what you wish for yourself.
OK?
Pollx