It is that I find myself feeling so lonely and tired. I am a mum and wife, we have an 8 year old daughter and my husband is 43, he was diagnosed in Dec 2001 with PPMS and has had a good life in the past years. Yes he has slowly got worse but things are progressed quite quickly in the past few years in comparison, he is now permanently in a wheelchair, unable to dress him self, struggles to eat things, drops things now because of loss of sensation in his hands and sleeps alot. Although I am very busy looking after him and our daughter, life has started to get me down, I am always tired, tearful and stressed and feel very alone.
I have always been the sort of person that says life is what it is, my life is my problem and just get on with it, but just lately I have really been struggling with my life and feeling alone. Now I know that there are others out there in exactly the same position as me or very close and probably sometimes feel the same. Well today, I went to speak to a very nice lady at our doctors surgery because apparently they are very concerned about my health. This shocked me because when ever anybody speaks to me, they only ever ask how my husband is, how is he feeling etc etc, and while this normally doesn’t bother me what has started to annoy me is when people come to the house and ask me how I am feeling, but don’t really want to know the answer because they don’t care about me.
Well it was during this meeting this morning, that I mentioned to the lady I used to be a member of this forum but had stopped, when she asked why I stopped I said because I only ever read other peoples comments and didn’t feel it was the right time for me, my husband was not that bad. She suggested I re-join just so I could let off steam and discuss things with our careers, and actually after reading a few posts, there are others out there like me.
Our life isn’t that bad, it is hard work trying to juggle work, caring and child care, but then again single mums juggle work and child care. The one thing that was made clear to me this morning was that I do matter, I am a very important part of my husbands life and care and it is important that I am well enough to do this. She was saying that although my daughter is not the career, that there is support around for her as well to help her understand what is happening to her dad and so she has someone else to talk to other than family.
I would like to say to anyone out there who is a career and struggling with life and the responsibility of it all, there are people there to support you and you do matter, so don’t sit back and feel alone, get the help and support you so deserve because you do a very important job.