Hi guys I’m a 57 year old male who is in denial of himself and struggling to get out side due to anxiety issues.Im wheelchair bound but have a car that I can drive but just can’t get the motivation to get up and go and frightened that I’m getting depressed and stuck in a rut any advice on how to cope with this situation please 
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It’s very hard. I am still mobile but is just so much easier to stay at home to be on the safe side isn’t it? If I waited until I actually felt like getting out of the house I would never leave it again. The only thing the that helps me to get out the door is to be honest with myself and admit that I really, really don’t want to do this but today I’m going to do it anyway. It doesn’t always work but usually it does. Usually it get’s easier once he door has closed behind me but getting to that stage is just really hard. It’s always a small achievement to manage it, though, and small achievement can add up and when they do, it is good for morale. Small wins are important, and starting small is still a win.
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Use it or lose it. Just keep pushing yourself, think of the bigger picture. I’m sorry, you don’t have the choice of “anxiety” - playing that card doesn’t make things alright, the world will move on without you. Just tough it out. Sorry, there’s no other way.
I’m in the same position. There is no other way.
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I am in a similar position and can relate. I am still mobile with sticks but force myself to get out there and try and walk my dog a little way. It does make me feel a little better and I’m sure the fresh air will do wonders for your well being.
It is hard though - I agree wholeheartedly - good luck!
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Firstly well done for acknowledging that you are struggling- don’t gaslight yourself, this isn’t all because you are anxious, it’s because the fear of going out and how hard it makes things, and what issues you may encounter as a result of difficulties like needing the loo or not knowing where is going to be wheelchair friendly that is ‘worth it’ is. So staying at home is the easier option, and comfort zone.
How long have you needed to use your wheelchair for? Do you have anyone close to you like a partner or friend/ family member who could go with you to increase your confidence?
Have a think about what used to make you happy- what lifts your mood? Do you like a cheese sandwich and a flask of hot tea or coffee, or a hot chocolate? Do you like a picnic with crisps on a sunny day by the beach or in a pretty park? What specifically comes to mind when you feel worried about going out?
I have felt this way. I thought about where was smooth to stroll, got a book called ‘Accessible Britain’ which gives loads of ideas for wheelchair friendly routes across the country.
I started small when I felt unwell with terrible fatigue, pain, needing wheelchair, and needing the loo nearby- set an intention for a 5-15 minute time out, made a flask of hot cocoa, my wife drove to a nearby park with flowers, pushed me in, parked me up, and I sat there with a blanket enjoying the scenery drinking my hot drink whilst she walked around with the dog. When I got home I felt glad I’d pushed through that barrier and felt uplifted.
The anxiety and depression still was there and got worse so I also got professional help from GP and psychologist, and that’s helped also, so if thoughts of suicide or not wanting to be here are crossing your mind- reach out to speak to a doctor.
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Thank you for the honest response it’s nice to know I’m not the only one who suffers with this and like you said got to grab life with both hands thank you
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Thank you for such a lovely reply x
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That is such a positive response - I love it! 
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Thank you 
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This reply was what I needed I’m off out with my camera today as I’m a very keen photographer so my wife is coming with me taking a picnic and going to enjoy the autumn colours thank you
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Excellent! Enjoy
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To motivate me to get out of the house, I have requested prescriptions to be delivered to the pharmacy instead of being delivered to my house. That way I have to leave the house to go and get them. Making small changes like that can slowly be increased and built up so I end up going out more often. I find once I am out of the door I am fine, but it is getting over the front door initially is the hardest part!
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@Kags80 I totally agree.
I need regular wound dressing and together with other meds, often need to venture out to collect them. Also, with the difficulties I’m now having, a case could be made for my wound dressing to be done by district nurses rather than by practice nurses at the GP surgery.
It’s worth the extra pain and disruption to make it to surgery and pharmacy, for the personal contact and the supervision by an overseeing Doctor to monitor progress of my wound(s). Focuses the mind & body to venture out and working to an appointment time adds another challenge. Without that, I’d just drift.
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I agree with your method. I’ve just been hit with the realisation my ex can’t do this. I have suspicions of her unfaithfulness, but that won’t change anything. I feel used and rejected which I am. I have a child from with her, he is 12. I want to meet people who can relate to my position, it’s very difficult. I don’t like being seen on my buggy, I feel demoted though I don’t think of others in my position as demoted.
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Hi Andy,I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling this way.I am 49 and have been in the same situation for over a year now.I have been here before and I can give some advice about it and at the same time need to act on my own advice.
I start by listening to some motivational music. Get myself my 2.5 kg weights and spend 30-60 minutes doing as many exercises as I feel comfortable doing and do a little bit more each day.It’s amazing what that does for your body and mind,or any form of exercise you can do. There are so many different ways to get in the right head space maybe we could help each other just let me know.
Your friendly scoucer Ronnie
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