Hi, Apologies this is a really stupid post but… My boss at work knows about my MS but I’m changing managers so I asked whether I should let my new manager know stupidly forgetting that I had already explained it to some else who probably told the whole office anyway! I feel so stupid, I don’t want to make a big deal out of it but I feel that by trying to not make a big deal it, I then make it a big deal! Any one else feel like that don’t handle the situation very well? Is it normal to still struggle with acceptance after over a year from diagnosis? Still hoping that it might go away!
I’m coming up a year and I’m not sure if I ever will! I still have a pole up in my dining room (I used to teach pole-fit at the gym) even tho I can barely stand by the evening… acceptance is still a bit shaky, much like me really!
Try to keep your chin upeh. I’m looking forward to the day, that it doesn’t get mentioned but given the struggle that is every day is, it probably will only happen when I have a day completely on my own - doh, there’s me forgetting that I can’t actually cope on my own for a full 24 hours scratches head
I don’t think it was a big deal. Just because some-one might have told others it does not mean that your new manager would know. And coming from you sort of makes it an official acknowledgment (so you would be covered from a health & safety viewpoint) - coming from the other person - its just office gossip. So my opinion is that letting your new manager know officially is the right thing to do and you handled the situation perfectly.
Lots of hugs - you will get your head round it all eventually
I was out of work for erm 4 years in total. when looking for jobs and getting to the interview stage the people interviewing did not
seam to care. They was honest about their concerns on if I could do the job and with my replies they accepted my anwsers.
The company who finally took me on is small and owner was concerned about my MS as his wife is a GP and worried about relapses and fatigue. He then said he will put me on a 3 month trial which would allow me to find my feet with contacts etc in my sector and see if I can hack the job, also it allows him to easily get rid of me if I was always sick etc.
I have to be honest a few people was acting all shock horror at this arrangement but for me it was the most honest and perfect working relationship. He did not have a problem with me popping to Hospital once a month for blood and pick up a new box of Gilenya.
He also said he’s not told anyone else about my MS in the office to which I replied oh you can I’m not fussed. It’s been well over a week and he still not told anyone though I did to one of my colleagues who just said ‘oh ok’ then carried on about conversation on metal bands he liked.
If your in a job that you think you can handle even with your MS I believe just tell people in a casual passing without making such a big deal about it. This allows people not to wrap you up in cotton wool and just treat you like the rest of the gang.
It’s a nice feeling for me to just work and be treated normally without people worrying.
I’ve been diagnosed since 2008 I think and just don’t care what people think I have hit rock bottom with boredom and in the MS rat race with Dr’s MRI’s, Cat scans and studies and its so nice to not have MS as the main thing in my life.
Dunno if my ramblings help but hey as if I care LOL
I don’t talk about my MS all the time at work, they all know I have it, but if it’s relevant to the conversation then I will mention it. People often stop me in corridors to mention stuff in passing and if it’s something really important I will ask them to email me or drop a note in my pigeon hole because I cannot guarantee I will remember it by the time I get back to my desk and several other people have spoken to me. I’m not trying to make a big deal out of it but I need to be honest and let them know that memory can be a big problem for me when my fatigue is bad. I think they’re beginning to understand … Tracey xx
PS. A year on is still very normal to struggle with acceptance. Every time I relapse I go through the whole process again :). I’ve had it for five years and I still find it hard telling someone I have it.
I was dx in oct 2012 and I’m still struggling to come to terms with it. Ann Marie
I’ve been diagnosed since 1999 and am now considered to be SPMS (…expect Zetland will love that ).
It took many years to accept my diagnosis in the first place.
Nowadays, I’m able to accept symptoms at a certain level, but as soon as any existing symptom declines or a new symptom begins, the process of ‘acceptance’ has to start all over again to take account of new limitations.
Seems to be an ongoing process now …at least I’m getting better at doing this !!!
when I told work colleagues two were brilliant whilst at the other extreme I had a lot of abuse from one person. For the rest it was something that they were not much interested in - and why should they be?
Fo all knew some of them had medical conditions or other issus which were far more important than my m.s!
Dom - if your ‘existing symptoms decline’ then you haven’t got spms.
Erm…I think it was “decline” as in get worse, not get less. I thought the whole thing about SPMS was yes, your symptoms would get worse. But I realise saying symptoms declined could be taken to mean feeling better! Don’t think that’s what’s meant here.