Scared & Isolated

Hello, I have been feeling scared and isolated for many years now with the fear I may have MS and the symptoms have been getting worse over the years. It started with just headaches and pains in my hand and them seezing up every so often and amoungst general pains that people said I was being a hypochondriac. This upset me a lot. This past year things have got worse. I woke up one morning last August screaming in pain and couldn’t move at all, my partner managed to get me into the car and take me to the hospital and they just gave me volterol PR and said it was just a normal back pain anyone could get so I thought ok fine. I went back a few weeks later same thing done and said but I was referred to a clinic. I had an MRI in February on my lower back. This showed 2 prolapsed discs at L4 - L5 S1 and an annular tear. I thought ok fine I was given general painkillers. I have been taken in by ambulance twice in the last two months to hospital. A further MRI was done on the two occasions showing now I had 4 Prolapsed discs. I have in the last few months had stronger painkillers (tramadol, gabapentin and fentanyl patches) these together give some relief. At this point I bet you wonder what this has to do with MS. I have been getting various symptoms in addition to the above. I get spasms frequently and I am in agony. I suffer with severe constipation and have to perform manual evacuations each time I go. My sex drive and libido have flown the nest and I have no interest in sex neither can I sustain an erection and when I can I very rarely ejaculate or orgasm. I feel loss of sensation and that my penis is retracting into my body. I am getting severe headaches to the right of my head and right eye it’s like my eye is going to shoot out. I cannot stand bright lights and night time driving is becoming unbearable. It’s been suggested this may be optic neuritis. I also seem to get double vision and have to squint o concentrate on something and its painful. I suffer with clinical depression and I get very emotional with mood swings and shouting and screaming and crying a lot which upset my and I upset my partner and others I get general pains that can’t be explained pain shooting down my back there is numbness in my legs and I get pins and needles in my feet. I get stabbing pains in my stomach. My right legs tremors and my right arm with no warning at all and it scares me to the point I cry. I get involuntary movements also. The fact is I am being made out to be a hypochondriac because I get all these different pains. Can anyone help me as I am at a loss and scared and my partner just seems to think its just something else wrong with Neil and not that it could be something. I have suggested MS and he tells me not o be silly. I have been referred to a neurologist. I don’t know if its worth mentioning my my speech seems to have slowed down and it take me sometime at least 10 seconds to remember words and I have problems learning new things as I don’t remember them such as educational things and I seem to forget things I have done or did but some things ate very vivid in my mind.m I would appriciate any help or support I have called the helpline and I was close to tears. My doctor wants me to see a psychiatrist because of the mood swings and temper as my mum as bipolar. Thank you so so much for reading I just want someone to listen and if I have got MS I can adjust to deal with it rather that getting upset because nobody listens and calls me a hypochondriac. Neil D xx

Hang on to that thought, Neil. The fact that you have been referred says that you are heading down the road of finding out what is the matter. It might take a long time, and there might be twists and turns along the way. But nothing, repeat nothing is ever quite as bad as spending years of sweet life suffering day and night with the fear that something is badly wrong, but being unable to find a way through to some sort of resolution. In that sense at least, you have done the hard bit already. There is now a real hope of things getting a bit clearer for you, and a bit easier.

I hope that you get some answers soon. In the meantime, try to stay as calm as you can and let the thing play out. It isn’t like you can do anything about it anyway. Whether it turns out to be something easily fixed (which I hope) or whether there is something serious going on, at least you will know. I am sorry that you have been having such a horrible time.

Good luck with it all.


Alison Your reply has moved me to tears. The anguish I have been going through for all these years is hard to explain fully in a forum but to finally find someway of getting some support is good. I think my thread even though it was long explains just a outline of what I am going through. I am stuck in bed today and unable to go to work. I will add to my thread that despite the wheelchair and the pains I still work and love my job. I am a Customer Services Advisor / Administrator at Currys. Thank you Alison Neil xx

Hi Neil, I am not surprised you are in severe pain, with all those back problems…which are clearly REAL, as they have been seen on an MRI…back pain is often not taken seriously, which I think is very unfair.

Now you have a referral to a neurologist, perhaps something will show as a reason for your problems.

I would take up your GPs offer of a referral to a psychiatrist. Mental problems are just as real and worthy of attention as other physical ones.

I hope things improve for you very soon.

luv Pollx

Can any say if all my symptoms are MS related especially now I have been told that the numbness in my legs and pins and need cannot be affected by the back. I have looked up my symptoms with MS symptoms and I seem to have quite a lot of them. Thank young Neil

Can anyone else offer any help and support?