I was diagnosed with MS last Friday. I’m struggling massively to come to terms with it all. I have a 15-month-old daughter and I returned to work full time in August. After a few months of adjusting, I thought I had finally developed a good routine for balancing work and mummy life so this all feels like a big slap in the face. The day I was diagnosed the only information I was given other than the diagnosis was that the MRI scan showed inflammation in my neck and parts of my spine, and that my current symptoms together with two episodes of double vision a few years back all pointed to MS. No leaflets, no information about support, no definitive information about what stage I’m at. The doctors/ nurses just kept shoving a sick self-certificate in my face apologising profusely and telling me to take the week off work.
These past few days I felt so flat, confused, deflated at home. I’m trying to distract myself but I can’t help but think about worst case scenarios. I also feel SO bad for taking time off work, I feel like I’ve let my colleagues down by over stretching them at work. Ironically I work as a Neuro Occupational Therapist although my experience is predominantly in Stroke rehabilitation. I had some knowledge of MS but that all went out the window when I was told I had it. After I was diagnosed I spoke to my manager and told her I wasn’t ready to face treating patients with similar symptoms to me, or putting on a game face with my colleagues. But now I’m second guessing my decision. Apart from my numb/ tingly legs and the intermittent shooting pain in my toes, I feel generally okay in myself but everyone keeps telling me to take it easy. My husband and family are also being super supportive but they’re wrapping me up in cotton wool I feel a bit suffocated.
Has anyone else felt the same? Sorry I feel like I’m rambling…