Newly diagnosed and feeling guilty

I have had on and off symptoms since my 20s ( and I’m now 50) had all the tests years ago and just lived with the issues when they arose. Had recent tests due to the issues becoming closer together and yesterday I was given the diagnosis of RRM MS
Nothing has changed for me but it was still a shock as I expected them to give me the usual answers of not finding anything
My daughter is 22 and was diagnosed when she was 16 so I have dealt with her issues also and I feel that if it had been diagnosed in my 20s ( before having her) I may have made the choice not to have children
I wouldn’t be without her but I feel so guilty that I have passed this on
Does anyone else feel like this
Thanks for reading

Hi Kerry, Its hard when you get diagnosed but after years of being in limbo land it must be a relief to get the diagnosis even though it’s not wanted. Getting the diagnosis opens up the possibility of getting support though. I’m sorry to hear your daughter has MS too as it is familial rather than hereditary. Your daughter must have brought so much love into your life as mine has even with MS. I too wouldn’t have had children if I’d known in time but coulda, woulda, shoulda are not worth worrying about afterwards. What we have to do is provide as much love and support so that they can have the best life possible and live in hope that a cure can be found. (((((HUGS))))) Maz

Thank you for your kind words
She tells me I’m being silly and it’s just one of those things
She is so brave at such a young age
She now said it’s nice because we are MS buddies lol


I am sorry about your dx, and sorry about your dear daughter’s too. No one can see round corners, and nor may we assume that any different decisions we made with the magical benefit of hindsight would have worked out either better or worse. You have nothing to reproach yourself with.

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Put it in perspective: As a mother, how much of our lives aren’t filled with guilt?

I consider myself as having a great life right now, but my 78-year-old mother still moans regularly about the things she wishes she’d done differently with me!

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Hi Kerry,

In my view we are all products of our parents both physically and psychologically for better and for worse. I have a feeling that both my grandfather and my mother had MS to some degree as do my son and I. I have no bad feelings towards my mother and her father and I don’t think my son has any towards me. We have all had and are having fulfilled and happy lives and learn to live with MS as just one of those things. So please, never feel guilty but just feel proud of the achievements your daughter has already made and I’m sure will make in the future. She will love you just for that.

Thank you Keith for your kind words
Feeling less emotional now I’m coming to terms with it