Memories of 10 years ago and the reasons why
Just heard a section of this song on the radio and it reminded me of laying on my bed on a sunny summers afternoon when I should have been busy during harvest. The lyrics seemed to ring true with me, I’ll explain.
It started with me waking up and finding I couldn’t see with my left eye, a visit to the hospital, various tests, with various diagnosis looked at and then back home feeling sorry for myself. Then a few hours go by and a phone call from the hospital telling me they think it is Multiple Sclerosis but would need an MRI scan to be certain. Now I didn’t really know what MS was so a lot of searching the web, I know too much about it now!
MRI scan booked and laying in the scanner I could see people speaking behind the glass but I couldn’t hear what they were saying, diagnosis confirmed and steroids prescribed. A few days and I was getting my own private firework display in my brain caused by the nerves in the brain short circuiting because of the damage to the myelin sheath, caused by the MS, when I was sleeping, it was a nightmare that I couldn’t escape from. I was in my own world of darkness with the odd nerves colliding in my brain which send bright flashes around in there. Then followed a few weeks of, basically, existing with bouts of pain around the eye socket and trying to cope with it, after all the hospital can cure it I was hoping. The vision it my blind eye was coming back thanks to the steroids but it was in black and white. Now that’s a weird thing to come to terms with, one eye in colour the other in black and white. At least the colour has returned a bit, it’s a washed out colour where reds look orange etc.
I’ve moved on a few years now and have come to terms with the fact I’ll never get any better know just hope I don’t get worse.
I learned a few things since I got MS, you know how good your family is, you know who your friends are and you never really appreciate things until you loose them.
So this song brings back memories that are not nice but it seems to fit in perfectly to my time of being diagnosed and coming through the other end, well this far at least.