Your daughter being so young, you already see her degradation, and I am so sorry for both of you. May God bless and keep you both. Jim
I am so sorry for your loss. You and your Mum had a terrible time with this damn illness. Try to accept that she is not in any more pain and is watching you from above. May God bless you both.
I just noticed something in your post that I missed. If she is bedridden, why is she on calcium pills? The other os about kidney infections and UTI’s. My wife had a lot of problems with these two issues. The problem was that she could not fully void her bladder and the old urine would become stagnant and hence the UTI’s, etc. Ask her nurse or doctor if there is something she can do to help her void her bladder. I assume she wears incontinence diapers so anytime she gets the urge, she can get in different positions to try and improve her voiding. At some point she was put on a medication (I do not remember what) to aide her voiding. I would try to get her someone to come in and help her deal with her anxiety and/or PTSD. I was never in the military but I have it really bad.
I wish you lot’s of luck and hange in there. Bless you and your Mum , Roxy. Always, Jim
Good day Roxy, I am Jim (Veendam47) you are free to reach out to me anytime. We have a 7 hour difference but I have MS friends in the UK because this kind of service is not offered in the US, to my great disgust. I am a male almost 74 in two months. I am also a Bi-Polar II, Rapid Cycler with Long Term Depression Disability that Manifested itself at about age 5. I found only one shrink worth his fee. He put me on Prozac and it changed my life but I still had cycles that almost cost me my life and I make quick and bad decisions. But I am still kicking and now reactive
I married my third wife when after knowing she had MS. Eventually we determined she had Bi-Polar as well. I knew her three grown sons would not help her and have come to blame me for her illness and eventually passing !6 June 2018. I think males are crap when faced with this kind of adversity. Some have the heart and love to stand firm and stay the course with their partner/spouse. Yours is the worst I have heard of because you lost your childhood and young adult years caring for your mum at such an early age.
When did you dad or her partner leave you guys. Obviously you got a little brother some how. Does he help out or is he gone also.
I am going to play doctor - do not worry, not the kind little kids play.
Sounds like she needs as much water as you can get down her. Find out if she like cold or room temp. (I hate room temperature water.) Does she sit up in bed or lay down. Her head should be elevated with blocks about 3-4 inches. These can be cut for you at a hardware store, or any large home store. You will need help lifting the bed to place the blocks under the head board.
You are correct about the chest and bronchial complications. With frequency they may be your moms end. You must accept what is better for your mum. She is in a lot of pain and needs to be free of this course. Consider a Hospice. That is the first time I felt my wife was truly being cared for. We used Transitions and I believe they have facilities in Europe/UK. If you would like me to check, I will be glad to. My wife needed kindness, not drugs to keep her alive when her body was obviously shutting down.
I apologise if I have been to frank and made you feel bad but you are young and there is a good life for you at there. Ask for God’s help in making these very difficult decisions.
I will check on Transitions and contact me at anytime. May God bless you always, your friendJim
Good day Roxy, I am Jim (Veendam47) you are free to reach out to me anytime. We have a 7 hour difference but I have MS friends in the UK because this kind of service is not offered in the US, to my great disgust. I am a male almost 74 in two months. I am also a Bi-Polar II, Rapid Cycler with Long Term Depression Disability that Manifested itself at about age 5. I found only one shrink worth his fee. He put me on Prozac and it changed my life but I still had cycles that almost cost me my life and I make quick and bad decisions. But I am still kicking and now reactive
I married my third wife when after knowing she had MS. Eventually we determined she had Bi-Polar as well. I knew her three grown sons would not help her and have come to blame me for her illness and eventually passing !6 June 2018. I think males are crap when faced with this kind of adversity. Some have the heart and love to stand firm and stay the course with their partner/spouse. Yours is the worst I have heard of because you lost your childhood and young adult years caring for your mum at such an early age.
When did you dad or her partner leave you guys. Obviously you got a little brother some how. Does he help out or is he gone also.
I am going to play doctor - do not worry, not the kind little kids play.
Sounds like she needs as much water as you can get down her. Find out if she like cold or room temp. (I hate room temperature water.) Does she sit up in bed or lay down. Her head should be elevated with blocks about 3-4 inches. These can be cut for you at a hardware store, or any large home store. You will need help lifting the bed to place the blocks under the head board.
You are correct about the chest and bronchial complications. With frequency they may be your moms end. You must accept what is better for your mum. She is in a lot of pain and needs to be free of this course. Consider a Hospice. That is the first time I felt my wife was truly being cared for. We used Transitions and I believe they have facilities in Europe/UK. If you would like me to check, I will be glad to. My wife needed kindness, not drugs to keep her alive when her body was obviously shutting down.
I apologise if I have been to frank and made you feel bad but you are young and there is a good life for you at there. Ask for God’s help in making these very difficult decisions.
I will check on Transitions and contact me at anytime. May God bless you always, your friendJim
Good day Roxy, I am Jim (Veendam47) you are free to reach out to me anytime. We have a 7 hour difference but I have MS friends in the UK because this kind of service is not offered in the US, to my great disgust. I am a male almost 74 in two months. I am also a Bi-Polar II, Rapid Cycler with Long Term Depression Disability that Manifested itself at about age 5. I found only one shrink worth his fee. He put me on Prozac and it changed my life but I still had cycles that almost cost me my life and I make quick and bad decisions. But I am still kicking and now reactive
I married my third wife when after knowing she had MS. Eventually we determined she had Bi-Polar as well. I knew her three grown sons would not help her and have come to blame me for her illness and eventually passing !6 June 2018. I think males are crap when faced with this kind of adversity. Some have the heart and love to stand firm and stay the course with their partner/spouse. Yours is the worst I have heard of because you lost your childhood and young adult years caring for your mum at such an early age.
When did you dad or her partner leave you guys. Obviously you got a little brother some how. Does he help out or is he gone also.
I am going to play doctor - do not worry, not the kind little kids play.
Sounds like she needs as much water as you can get down her. Find out if she like cold or room temp. (I hate room temperature water.) Does she sit up in bed or lay down. Her head should be elevated with blocks about 3-4 inches. These can be cut for you at a hardware store, or any large home store. You will need help lifting the bed to place the blocks under the head board.
You are correct about the chest and bronchial complications. With frequency they may be your moms end. You must accept what is better for your mum. She is in a lot of pain and needs to be free of this course. Consider a Hospice. That is the first time I felt my wife was truly being cared for. We used Transitions and I believe they have facilities in Europe/UK. If you would like me to check, I will be glad to. My wife needed kindness, not drugs to keep her alive when her body was obviously shutting down.
I apologise if I have been to frank and made you feel bad but you are young and there is a good life for you at there. Ask for God’s help in making these very difficult decisions.
I will check on Transitions and contact me at anytime. May God bless you always, your friendJim
Roxy, do not let your mum go too far with out help. Hear is the site that maybe of assistance. In the UK there are Hospices that require a fee and others that hope for donations. HospiceUK.org looks like the best place to start your research. If your dad is as in love with your mum as you indicate, you might start your research without his knowledge on the other hand he might want to be involved to make sure he is involved so she gets the best care.
State side, I do not recommend “Nursing Homes” unless you can pay US$8,000 a month. I did not like what I saw here and they did not treat my wife well at all, so I brought her home for Home Hospice and then she moved to Transitions Hospice. This was a great place and they depend on donations.
I am sending this to you to take some of the strain off of your family. When her body starts to shut down, there is nothing you can do except make her comfortable and give her love and support. I am always here if you wish to talk. Best of luck, Jim
You can always block me if I am saying something that is too hurtful. Always, Jim
Biggsy, how are you and your wife doing? It has been several months since your post but in the world of MS a lot can happen. You may recall that my wife passed away 16 June 2018 and my pain is there. Thank goodness for grandkids!
Let me now how you are doing; maybe I can help. Jim