Men- Erectile dysfunction NOTwhen asleep!

I suffer from erectile dysfunction and inability to orgasm when awake. The strange thing is that I am awakened two or three times a night with a very strong erectioon! I always wake in the mornig with an erection. My wife (we don’t sleep together) won’t have sex anymore due to a back problem and for several years I have had to think myself out of the ‘urge’. Does anyone have any ideas how I can rekindle some sort of sex life, even on my own! Gone anonymous out of embarrassment! Viagra etc isn’t the answer. All it does is cause an erection that lasts all night!