I don’t know exactly how I should feel. Perhaps some would say I should have some acceptance or dealing with a diagnosis of MS. This time last year I was totally naive to the fact I had multiple “plaques” on my brain whilst taking a painkiller for pains surrounding my right eye.
However this year right at this moment I keep thinking maybe I should have got things looked at sooner. What if I didn’t visit Spec savers ? What if I didn’t answer a strange call from my family GP to check my list of other health issues? This time last year I organised an appointment “next week” to see my GP and her look said it all. Not to the mention, the woman who was training in medicine. She kept handing me chocolate biscuits to which I replied quite stern I do not want anything. What is wrong? GP looked at me and asked me was I visiting Alone (obviously) 
. I knew from medical background it was something. Also a history of cancer scares the talk is deafening!! I went into a state of shock as tears ran down my face. How do I tell my husband of two months (I am only 31)
The thing is a year on I don’t think il ever come to terms with MS. Nothing I can do yes but hope. Does anyone else feel how I feel so early on?
Hi btrainor93
When I was 30, I’m now 65, I was diagnosed with Iritis and told to go home and if it ever came back to report back.
Over the years until i was diagnosed in 2007 I just got on with life and ignored the silly symptoms that came along, fatigue was the biggest one, balance up to a point the second. I was finally told I had SPMS, there was nothing for me, so I just get on with things, hard yes, but what other choice do I have. Keep strong and take care.
Jean x
Of course you’re quite right and not even chocolate biscuits will fix it, just as you noted. But life goes on regardless and there’s work to be done and family to attend to and somehow we manage to give those things our attention despite the grenade that has gone off in our lives, and I guess that’s what you’ve been doing too, as we all must. And so we go on. I don’t think one ever comes to terms with it exactly. More a matter of getting on despite it, I think. In my case not always skillfully and sometimes very messily indeed, but getting on regardless. Or that has been my experience so far (25 years in)
Thank you for your message. Sometimes it is comforting knowing we aren’t so alone in this after all.
(I have a horrible head cold so I think I am feeling sorry for myself too)
You too, Bronagh x
True. Hopefully in time I will learn to cope better with it. Maybe life over time teaches us that.
Take care
Bronagh
Do you have someone to talk to, or an MS nurse that you can get help from? I found that when I was diagnosed it took at least a year to come up for air. It’s like a grieving process for the life you envisaged but I promise that it will get better. I was diagnosed in 2007 with SPMS after having symptoms for a decade, took me a while to accept it and carry on.
Yes I have a MS nurse but I don’t find her particularly helpful. My husband is great as well as my family, yet again I don’t think they understand how MS can make you feel. I suppose it is a long process. Thank you for your message take care Bronagh x
Just to add that I think the comment from @bexhc is so true . A diagnosis of MS is a lot to take in and there is a ‘grieving’ process to experience. It all takes time.
A few of my old female work colleagues have lost their husbands recently and, after the initial shock , joined grieving classes ( on line I think). There might well be merit in say the NHS providing classes for the recently diagnosed.
My regional hospital held a session with a psychologist for a group of the newly diagnosed. She explained that the background levels of stress in our lives had just been bumped up and would stay that way. She told us to therefore be gentle with ourselves if we found that we were unable to deal as well as we used to with life’s ups and downs. This was 25 years ago but it was wise advice, and it’s always stayed with me.
I was a really naive 19 year old when I got dx, I thought “No way it can’t be, MS is a condition affecting middle aged women only, just like the menopause”, it actually went away on its own for nearly a decade and I completely forget about it.
It came back again and stuck around in the 2nd decade, so this time I thought if I can keep it quiet for another decade it can be managed, well it was manageable albeit with occasional relapses/flare-ups.
In this 3rd decade it has become more impact full, disability is more noticeable these days, but I now think there are many hurdles in life to get over and I’m determined as ever to keep on going just like 19 year old me before.
Stay strong,
JP