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How do you cope?

Hi all,

I was diagnosed a month ago tomorrow.

I was signed off work for a week to come to terms with it!..been back to work- as a teacher for past two weeks and really feel like I just can’t cope. I had a bit of a meltdown yesterday and decided to speak to my head of department. Fair play, they have been really supportive but i feel such a failure and guilty that others will have to take up the slack in my absence, let alone the kids i teach and the parents that pay for their education. I am now going to be working 3 days a week until the easter holidays and then reassess…is it normal to feel like i have jet lag all of the time and headaches like i have never had before. I can’t seem to get a handle on this and worry that I may bit a bit low as I cry at the drop of a hat. I know it doesn’t sound it on here but so far I have been trying my hardest to stay positive and say bu**er the MS but it just seems to have slapped me in the face and left me lying on the floor this week. I see my Neurologist on Tuesday to discuss drugs…not even sure if i want to start them yet.

Any advice would be really appreciated xx

Hi emya It’s a hard one…I was diagnosed 5 months ago and although I’m in a much better place psychologically, it’s taken a lot of effort to get here, both by me and professionals. I guess, although it sounds like a twee reassurance, you do kind of adapt and learn to accept it…but for some, more gradually, than others. I was the same as you at first…sod it, it’s no big deal but I think this was me being in total denial. Then I got sad, angry, sad and angry in varying mixtures and strengths !! I am good at practicalities so that gave me a focus which kept the reality at bay at first too…once all that had been sorted, I found myself having to confront the reality and that was hard. But these are all normal stages and processes to go through…and you do get through them…eventually !! Xx

Thank you for that…think denial is prob where I was! now starting to dawn on me that everything has changed…although I saw my GP this morning who was totally like " nothing wrong with you really…you just have to accept and get on with it" felt like slapping him!! Did you speak to a proffessional to help you deal with diagnosis? Would I be able to see one if i spoke to my MS nurse? Sorry for all questions but not sure yet who to contact about dealing with everything.

Emma

Hi Emma Yes I was referred for counselling…and she was brilliant…I had my 11th session yesterday and have my 12th and final session in a month. They are a brilliant way to vent, cry and just go blaaaaah to someone objective and non judgemental. Also, use your MS nurse. They are invaluable and are a direct link to your neuro and all manner of other support networks. I also self referred to social services…to adult care…they provided a speech therapist (for swallowing issues), an occupational therapist and physio to look at adaptations to my house and a continence nurse. My neuro had the same attitude as your GP !! So I asked for a re referral and now have an MS specialist who is fan bloody tastic. Don’t forget, you need to contact DVLA to disclose the condition and your insurance company. Xx

O.k that’s made my mind up…i’m gonna ask to go see someone to talk things through. I am very lucky my neuro is a proffessor and specialist in MS…bonus! Have contacted DVLA but hadn’t my insurance company…god how could I forget that!!

Thank you so much for advice…has really helped me focus!!

xx

Hiya

Just wanted to say I know exactly how you feel, especially about the feeling of jet lag.

I was diagnosed 8yrs ago and you really do get used to it. It is a massive shock at the beginning but remember we are all here for you whenever you need us.

I remember when I was first diagnosed I would get up in the night and talk with my friends on this brilliant site for reassurance.

Take care

Shazzie xx

Hi, I am glad to see Mrs H`s reply has helped you a lot.

it really is VERY early days since your diagnosis.

It takes a long time to sink in, accept and then set about how to build MS into your life.

i do believe it is wasted mental and physical energy to try to deny or ignore it. I`m not saying you are doing either.

I think reducing your hours is a good idea. Just go with the plan and see how you feel after the easter hols, eh?

I am glad your next neuro appt is soon. Maybe you should consider drugs, if the neuro thinks they will help.

But again, they dont work overnight, so give them a chance to do their stuff.

Good luck.

luv Pollx

Thank’s all for ur replies…I’ve not really had anyone to talk to about things, so it’s good to get things off my chest and into perspective a little xx

Hi Emya,

MS does

change yoiur life there’s no denying that but there is life with ms and we all learn to cope with what ever it brings. Sometimes our own emotions get in the way and that’s a good reason for talking to other people, like your family and friends, let them know how you feel, how it feels. I know it can be hard to open up to your nearest and dearest but they need to try to understand. Ask question after question someone on here will be able to answer it, or give you advice. Do what you can and don’t do what you can’t. When I was firt dx I had no idea at all, the only thing I knew was that had happened in my past fitted into a pattern and it turned out to be ms. But please seek help if you feel you need it, there is a lot about if you ask. I wish you the very best and send (((((HUGS))))) just to let you know we are all in this together. Janet x

I had my DX 3 years ago… well it will be in 12 days time and I still have days where I feel I cant cope and that I want out. Tho they are becoming rare these days thank god You should not feel like a failure for needing time to get your head around this, and personally I feel you have done well going back to work with only a week off particularly with kids and by the sounds of it secondary school kids at that (I would have killed them that early on). It took me nearly 2years to remove my head from my arse and as I said I still have bad days. Just remember you have had one hell of a shock to the system and now you need to care for your self and not worry so much about letting other people down. James