Hi all
I have worked as a teaching assistant/ pastoral support in the same primary school for nearly 20 years. I am 50 and will be 51 in January. I was full time up to diagnosis (12 years ago) and carried this on for another 3 years until I dropped to afternoons only - I just couldn’t keep up the pace especially children who would go awol and needed to be followed. Since January this year I dropped my Friday afternoon. Over the last few years I have found the heat and our summers more and more unbearable, my fatigue is off the scale and although I love my job I can’t lie, I am really struggling. I have a fan at my desk and a more comfortable chair at my desk but I don’t know what else can be done to help me - My base is in the school library with a section curtained off for privacy. The library is internal so thete are no windows and the lights are constantly on which doesn’t help. I have to go around the school including up and down stairs to collect children that I work with.
I feel sick when fatigued, I hardly sleep at night due to restless legs and needing the toilet. Foot drop, numb legs a feet, headaches - a vicious circle of all the ms stuff and loads I know I’ve missed out!
My point is, can I ask for early retirement? My husband has suggested it. I wouldn’t know where to start. I love my job but I just can’t see a way past everything. I have given it a good go for the last 12 years! It’s just getting harder and harder. Any help or suggestions would be great or pointers where to start.
Sorry if I’ve waffled
Dawn x
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Morning Dawn,
I was in the very same position as you last year, in fact it is like a mirror image of myself. I did go back to school at the beginning of school term 2023/2024 but really found it tricky.
It was when I was having my Tysabri that the nurses and then my neurologist had suggested that I stop work to conserve energy. I was signed off sick and my management team were fantastic and supported me throughout. They got the works occupational health on board who,(through telephone call) assessed me and then when I went onto half pay(6 month) I had a teams meeting monthly with the council HR at home to which my headteacher came up to the house and my sister was there. I know people advised union representation but I did not have a gripe with the school or council just with MS.
I was granted ill health retirement in July and although I miss school and the children terribly I know it was the correct decision for me. I hope you manage to get things sorted and please know if there is anything you need to know just ask.
The wonderful people on this site kept me right all along.
Much Love
Maryx
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Thank you so much Mary. The process really scares me. I have a fantastic Head who always listens to everyone etc. I have thoughts in my head of people judging as I only do 13 hours a week but that 13 hours feels like 300 some days!.
I think I will email my ms nurse tobook in to have a chat with her. I will keep you posted.
Take care
Dawn x
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I can’t possibly add anything to the excellent advice from Mary, but have a couple of suggestions regarding your symptoms.
It’s worth trying magnesium to calm down those restless legs and is a beneficial mineral, so won’t do any harm.
The best solution to foot drop I have found is the ingenious FES and your GP can refer you for assessment.
Functional electrical stimulation (FES) | MS Trust
I hope you get the settlement you deserve.
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You are so welcome,
I worked 22.5 weekly and latterly 17.5 so please do not worry about your hours.
Like me you would love to continue but you just know when the time is right although we do try and ignore that feeling for a while.
Great idea speaking with your MS team.
As I said the great people on here kept me right, whammel being one of them and when he told me about the magnesium I started them and it really helped, thanks whammelx
Take good care of yourself Dawn
Much love
Maryx
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Hi Dawn,
I have to agree with you there: if having MS is not enough, it’s like a vicious circle with the recurring offshoots of other associated health problems, to also deal with.
I’m 43 and had been working in higher education, for 18 years, not including the last year tbf.
This year I found myself ill-health retired, by my employer, after a year off-sick from work. I would say from past experience, if you’re not currently working and not yet receiving state pension, it’s a good idea to sign-on as you start going into NI arrears if you don’t.
In my case, I applied for ESA due to long term illness and as much as I would like to stay employed it’s probably not viable with worsening MS plus I’m still waiting for elective surgery, over a year now. The jobcentre advised I could volunteer for charity work instead, health permitting tbh, but that’s something to think about.
I too would advocate Magnesium health supplement, although in my case homeopathy prescribed Calcium-Magnesium-Boron, amongst other health supplements I remember.
Best regards,
JP
Well, I sent a lengthy email to my MS nurse yesterday and explained how I was feeling and struggling (she is really nice and listens. I had an in person catch up with her earlier this year). I asked if she would be kind enough to support me along with my neurologist.
I had a very quick reply but only to say she is on oliday until the 3rd of September so I will keep you all posted.
Thank you all again for your kind words of support and hope.
Dawn xx
I am glad you have started the ball rolling and maybe mention to your colleagues that you are finding things a bit tougher now.
As my neurologist said to me, leaving was best for me as ‘conserving my energy’ was so important.
Much love
Maryx
Hi Mary
Well, my nurse called me to say she will support me and agrees that it is the right decision to stop working. My head filled out the referral for occupational health today and I received an email with an appointment for next Thursday! How quick was that! My head was brilliant and said in the referral that we’ve tried reasonable adjustments, reduced hours etc. I emailed my nurse who replied straight away to say she will sort a supporting letter and email it over for Thursday. Bi cannot get over how quick it’s been. I will keep you posted. Take care. Dawn x
I am so happy Dawn that things have started for you and having your head so behind you and the MS nurse involved things are looking good.
It is a very strange feeling not going to school everyday but I know it’s for the best.
Good luck with OH, I just told them the truth and they were very understanding, after all we would much rather be able to be in our much loved jobs.
Much love
Maryx
So, an update!
It feels like I have been in a whirlwind. The referral was done by my very supportive head last Wednesday. I received an email that afternoon with an appointment for yesterday (Thursday). I had a very supportive letter from my nurse and all of my clinic letters. I also tokk along a list of adjustments done at work, the effects of the ms etc etc. After 40 minutes I was told I would be getting ill health retirement at teir 1 with full pension and that I was being signed off from work - permanently with immediate effect. At this point I burst into tears. The speed of it all and all in a week start to finish. My letters etc were enough. I will have the report by Monday.
Dawn x
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Well, that’s great progress. I can well understand your reaction: it’s a shock for it to happen so suddenly. Life can change very fast, can’t it? I hope that, once the whirlwind settles down, you can start to breathe more freely and look to the future with a little but of certainly, in one aspect of your life at least!
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Ah Dawn I am so very happy that things have been sorted for you quickly. It really is for the best although it is a big change and you will miss school, things will settle.
Take care.
Much Love
Maryx
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Hi all
Just an update for you.
Well, as of yesterday, I am fully retired on ill health grounds. It has only taken 8 weeks from start to finish!
The HR lady who dealt with my case (who was lovely) said that I am the most organised person and quickest person she has ever retired. I had all of my clinic letters from diagnosis and most current one from my neurologist in May this year. My ms nurse provided a supporting letter just 2 days before my occupational health assessment. Due to having these no one needed to be written to and no waiting for replies etc.
I am getting 3 months pay in lieu of notice due to length of service and tier 1 pension made up as if I am 67 for life. I am 50. Now it’s time for me to adjust and take better care of myself both physically and mentally.
Thank you for your words of support.
Dawn xx
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That’s great news, Dawn. Well done.
I must admit that in my own case, once I said I was ready to call it a day, they couldn’t move fast enough. If I had known that I would be pushing at an open door, I would pushed sooner!
It was a good decision all round, and I hope that you find the same.