nice one Sue . Totally agree
M
Honestly Sue, thank you for listening to me.
This degree has become a labour of love for me now. I just want to achieve something despite MS. I have no job any more and nothing else to focus on. I don’t know what will come afterwards.
I’m sure the tide is turning on assisted euthanasia and hopefully by the time I get there it’ll be easy. I’m making my wishes known now. I’d rather leave on my terms than suffer on for years.
The grade isn’t a massive deal really but it’s been so bloody hard to even get this far that I’m hoping to do well.
Yeah I smoke weed anyway and that’s not the drug that helps with this. I was a proper little raver before this so it’s been no problem to experiment across the board. I’ve been on nystagmus forums and it makes me so mad that all these people could be helped.
Anyway I digress. Nobody takes my degree seriously or appreciates what it means to me. But I WILL get there!
To be honest, having that desire to learn, to develop your mind is really admirable. I admire that in you, despite all the shlt that’s thrown your way.
I reckon whatever substance gets you through the day is OK with me. If it makes your life easier then do it. It’s not like prescription drugs don’t come with a massive pile of side effects and warnings: caution, this drug can be habit forming!!
I’ve had a big fight with my GPs about being ‘allowed’ to take Oxycodone. Yes, it’s an opiate, yes it leads people to develop a tolerance thus meaning they need more to achieve the same result. Yes, I take a stack of other drugs. But I don’t care. So I develop a tolerance. Aka a ‘habit’. If it helps with my pain then bullocks to it.
This morning I woke up at 4am. As it my ‘habit’, I took a small handful of drugs so I don’t wake up in agony (paracetamol, Codeine, oxycodone and Baclofen). But, I’d mixed the usual 8(ish)am drugs with the 4am ish ones. So instead of the painkillers, I took some vitamin D, thyroxine, omeprazole and baclofen.
I woke up at 8.15 in agony. Then I discovered what I’d done. So took the painkillers and about 2 hours later stopped hurting.
I will argue till the cows (bullocks maybe?) come home that it’s my right to take a drug that’s legal, painkilling, agreed to by my neurologist and which bloody helps. If you or anyone else, chooses to take whatever drugs enable you to live in order to do the work that drives you on. That enables you to keep living. Then I support your right to make that choice. Legal or otherwise.
Just as I support the right of adults to choose when or if they don’t want to continue their lives. If life is unimaginably difficult and not living it is the better option for the individual, we should be able to make that choice.
I too have made my feelings well known, I’ve got an Advance Directive and my friends and family know my views.
MS is bloody hard for any of us to live. Some symptoms are unimaginably horrible. I feel for you TB, having to live with Nystagmus. It’s an awful condition/symptom. The fact that you are managing to ‘see’ beyond that pain and exercise your brain in spite of it is brave and something we should all learn by. It’s the human condition to express our intellectual curiosity by studying. The fact that you continue to stretch your brain is wonderful.
Sue
I did a degree as a mature student and I can fully appreciate how important it is for you.
I found it very difficult especially the written exam at the end - had massive problem getting my thoughts on paper in a limited time.
I had a very supportive tutor and got a Desmond (think about it!)
If any drug legal/illegal helps then take it - and I have it in mind that if I reach a certain point I wont want to carry on - and who is to tell me that I should have to carry on ? I find that having that thought is strangely empowering.
and to go O/T - had an MRI scan - the Full Monty - four weeks ago - felt woosy after it but that evening felt better than I’d done for a long time - electrical waves in the brain stimulating things ?? - alas the following too days felt crappier than ‘normal.’
I’ve just handed out my Advanced Directives!
I have a funeral plan and am saving into a separate account so when the time comes, everyone knows what I want and it’s all paid for.
I’m with Open University, they’re really accommodating with exams. Because I have to dictate into my computer as I can’t write, they send an invigilator out to my house. Luckily this module has a big project at the end which suits me much better.
I’ve never had any after effects from an MRI; how interesting! I always ask them not to talk to me so I can do to sleep, I’ll take any chance for a lie down
T b
G r e a t p o s t s
T a l o t s f o r s h a r i n g
E l
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Tingly_b. I’m 36 and gave up my job as a horse rider due to the ms. I’m also studying at home to see my f I can change career.
I also take illegal stuff sometimes. Just to get through the anger, pain, depression - whatever I thought I was the only one. Love xx
I highly doubt you’re the only one!
I can’t really drink because I lost control of my legs and lose control of my bladder which is not a winning combination, but always been a partaker of everything else so it’s not a stretch for me!
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Tingly _B sorry for your bladder issues. Honestly this disease is the pits. But thank you for your warmth and inclusivity xx