That has the potential to be a tricky one. The cliche first stage of grieving is denial, and when people are in denial you can’t really force them out of it (by denial I don’t mean denying that we have MS, but for me I was in denial in terms of not wanting to think about, avoiding hearing or reading about anything that might happen to me). I don’ t think denial is necessarily a bad thing though. At first I think we need it, as it protects us emotionally & psychologically from being crushed by what’s happened/happening, until we’re ready to begin to face up to it and to process what’s going on.
I think it’s worth having some kind of warning of the feelings that people might experience - things like anger or depression. But it needs to be said that it’s perfectly normal and understandable to feel things like that. I often notice people on the forum writing posts about how they’ve become really angry for example, and they’re worried by this as it’s so out of character, and they’re worried they’ll always feel like that. But like I say, it’s not surprising to be feeling strong emotions and, crucially, it is a phase they can move through. Finding ways to be able to safely process these emotions can be very helpful.
I suppose the thing I probably needed to hear was that having MS isn’t the end of my life. It can be easy to treat it as a death sentence - to see all the things that we have lost or might lose. But of the traditional stages of grief, ‘acceptance’ is the final one - where you’re able to start piecing your life together and move on. Getting MS is not the end of the journey, but rather a change in direction. My wife wrote a song that had the lyric ‘Everything’s going to be OK, but only when you’re definition of OK’s been redefined.’ , and that’s something I can relate to. Another quote I heard recently is ‘Pain is inevitable; sufferring is optional.’ I can’t remember where I heard it from, but what I like about it is that it says something about how we’ve always got a choice in how we choose to respond to what happens to us.
Hope you find it rewarding to write your piece. As Carole says, I hope you get to post it on here.