Not sure what to do…as you all know the future is so uncertain with MS and no one can say what will happen, which makes it very difficult to plan or make decisions.
At the moment I am experiencing mild symptoms, nothing that interferes with daily life (thank God). But of course there is no way to know how long that will last.
I had always planned to leave my job when my eldest child starts school as I work quite a distance from home and she would finish school early so if I was at work, I’d have to get an after school service to collect her and mind her til I got home etc. It’s not how I envisaged things, and wanted to be at home for my daughters - I’m only back at work now because financially it would leave things very tight.
There is a slight chance of voluntary redundancy which I’ve applied for - obviously if I got that I’d have some money saved for the future.
But if I don’t get the VR, i would plan to resign before next September when my eldest starts school. Some people are saying that it would be a bad idea to leave a secure job in case in the future I have high medical costs which private health insurance would not fully cover.
On the other hand, i am currently well, and you only get one life. If I stay in work because if my health deteriorated I would need the money, sick leave etc, I could find that I am well and able to work into my 50s or beyond (please God) and then I’d have missed the chance to be at home with my children when they are small and growing up.
It’s so frustrating that I can’t possibly know how this thing is going to go, and it means I really don’t know what to do.
Ive always thought that your family should come first, and yes finances do play a large part in any decision. I used to work when they went to bed, and as they grew they never knew I worked. I had three jobs when they were small all of which didnt take me from them for very long.
As women we find it extremely hard to do the right thing. Work does indeed get us out of the house, gives us a meaningful purpose, but there again so does childcare. Its all what is made from the situation.
I found myself a single parent, and didnt feel my children should pay for my marriage break up. Granted we were very tight where money was concerned but I didnt want them to grow without my full time input.
Bringing ms into the equation makes things doubly hard. Again its what you can do without tiring yourself too much enabling you to fulfil time with your children after work.
If I had a magic wand I would pay mothers to stay at home with their children, however we are all being beaten with a very large stick with not much of a carrot at the end of it now. Women are expected to be child rearers (and men in lots of cases), workers and produce all the goodies required, however ms brings with it fatigue too. I often tell my son its like flogging a dead horse when energies are low.
I personally would do the best for now, forget the future because none of us know what it will bring. Move forward and know you made the right decision. Money will be tight for lots of us so you wont be alone, but one things for sure, you cannot have regrets if your health is at stake too. Live for today.
Hi, well you`ve said it yourself…absolutely no-one can tell you which way your MS will go. They may a rapid decline or they may not. many MSers work a full time job for years and cope really well.
If you hadn`t got MS, your plans were to stop work when your children start school. So perhaps that should remain the same, eh?
I understand this is a difficult decision, but only you can do that. Its so sad when an otherwise happy life is spoiled by what ifs` when chronic conditions strike. Life can throw challenges at us no matter who we are.
It’s just so hard to know what to do. I suppose I will have to take a chance and give up work, but Lord knows if things deteriorate in the shorter term and we end up unable to pay medical bills, there’ll be no going back…and of course every ache or pain I get, I worry that it’s the start of things getting worse…