feeling helpless

I’ve suspected I’ve had MS for a few years but until recentley the symptoms have been fairly easy to ignore (tingling in my right hand some increase in fatigue and unsteadiness on my feet and slight incontinence) I only really got symptoms when I was hot and they didn’t affect my quality of life. Recently though I’ve been unable to completely empty my bladder on very hot days (only when the weather is in the high 20’s really) which has led to an uncomfortable level of incontinence. I’ve been worrying non stop for the last few days and can’t think about anything else or do anything to distract myself. The thing I’m most worried about is how I’m going to tell my family, I know my mum will be upset and my sister will worry a lot and is nearing the end of a uni course so I’m worried if this comes out now then she’ll worry so much she’ll fail her course. Because I don’t feel I can talk to my friends about it either I feel very lonely because I feel like I can’t talk to anyone. Part of me wants to carry on ignoring this because the weather is sligthly cooler but I know if it gets hotter again my symptoms will get worse. Mostly I just want to go back to how things were not that long ago and I want to be able to have fun with my friends again without feeling like I’m living in a nightmare. I can’t stop feeling that things are going to get worse from now on and that if I get diagnosed it will completely take over my life.

I’ve got my dad and brother who have been confirmed as having MS and I’m currently under investigation with similar symptoms. Although its hard for me as I do not know what it wrong with me I can safely say that it’s not taken over either my dads or my brothers lived since they were fully diagnosed. Both of them have continued to have good lives and even though things have to be taken into consideration at times they still enjoy life. I think it might even be better for you to get a full diagnosis. I know myself I feel shocking and even worse because I’m I’m the limbo of not knowing what’s wrong with me. Whatever I get diagnose with it can only help me because then I can start to sort my life out. May be worth a trip to the doctors and a referral to a neurologist? Maybe ease your mind?

How do I tell my friends and family? that’s the part that stresses me out most, I felt like I was going to tell my housemates today but when I came to it they were all laughing and having fun and I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I also know though that I can’t keep on putting on a brave face as if nothing is wrong.

I think you need to concentrate on looking after yourself and at least finding out whether you do have MS or not. Iraq things first get yourself to the GP and ask to be referred. Until you know for sure you can’t tell your friends or family what’s wrong with you

Hi Chris,

I think it’s a little premature to be worrying how friends and family will react to news of “your MS”, when you’ve not so far been diagnosed with anything!

It may sound obvious, but I think the first thing is to go to the doctor. You do not have to include friends and family in a decision to see the doctor about something that may yet prove totally benign. And just voicing your concerns to a professional - someone who’s not going to freak over it - may help to reassure you.

Your symptoms are not unique to MS: there are many things it could be, and some of them are quite easy and fixable - e.g. a vitamin deficiency.

So try to take one step at a time, and not leap ahead to a whole catastrophic chain of events , where you’ve had a confirmed diagnosis of MS, and your sister’s failed all her exams.

If you absolutely must tell someone you’re going to the doctor, you don’t have to word it as: “Because I might have MS”. You haven’t had a single test or medical opinion that points to that. You could just say something vague, like: “A bit of a problem with my waterworks sometimes”. That is true, but no more alarming than it needs to be.

Even if you did have MS, it’s not a terminal illness, and the fact you believe you’ve already had it a few years, with most symptoms easy to ignore, suggests it’s not following a particularly aggressive course in your case.

When I was being investigated (I’m now a diagnosed person), it certainly helped keep things in perspective to remind myself I’d probably already had it years (whatever “it” might be), and that I wasn’t dead or in a wheelchair!



Yes, I think you’ve got to have your problems investigated properly. You don’t know what to tell anybody yet. At the moment there is a possibility it could be something else . Even if it is MS life can still be good and health care helps MSers deal with problems. Many people with MS live a full active life - with limitations, yes, but far from the end of the world. You’ll still be the same person if you are dx - your symptoms won’t change because have a dx.

thank you so much everyone for the kind support, I realise now that I should have come here first instead of worrying about it for the past few days (in fact I should have come here 6 years ago when I first convinced myself I had MS). I’ll book an apointment with the doctor ASAP and I won’t worry my family yet until I have more of an idea what is going on.