Feeling a little bit sad

I got my letter back from DVLA yesterday following my assessment, i knew it wasnt going to be good news, as i mentioned in a previous post i’d not driven for 3 years but somehow foolishly thought there might be some adaptation that would help… .I did rubbish on the day I had to draw a clock face and had to concentrate so hard i thought id got away with it till we went out in the car and then i really struggled. At first they said that the dvla might lt me have refresher lessons because i was anxious…now i think they were just being kind because the DVLA have just taken my licence and what hurts the most is they said it was because of a Psychological illness in other words i’m NUTS ! I can’t tell you how much that hurts as i v’e said before i’m still in limbo land because of insufficient evidence but i’m more level headed than most people. My CBT counsellor last year said i was fine, and after getting Frazer i no longer need the anti depressants. Its funny I knew deep down that I wasn’t able to drive anymore. its just another loss. I was 30 when passed and it took me 5 attempts. I was so happy I always felt that passing my driving test as the best thing i’d ever done. It was my freedom, even though i knew it was over reading it on a letter is awful .

Michelle and Frazer xx

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Michelle I’m so sorry to hear that. Of course you’re not nuts!!! They have no idea how words like that can hurt somebody.

You can appeal the decision. If you want to, see Citizens Advice.

I don’t drive but living in London I don’t see the point…and I get discount on taxi’s because of disability.

Remember, whoever decided that it was psychological illness is A) Not a doctor B) knows absolutely nothing about you C) is a prat.

Perhaps you could teach Frazer to drive? I’m trying to teach Dickie English but have to admit it’s not going well…although he does seem to understand ‘Felix’ (food), Mousie (playtime), Dreamies (treats) and his own name. It’s slow going.

Lots of love and hugs,

Pat xx


Oh Michelle

I am so sorry to hear you’re upset, don’t let these ill informed idiots get you down…what a bloody cheek they have!

I haven’t driven for a few years now, I took the decision, I didn’t feel safe, so it was the right choice for me, but it was hard.

I bet you and Fraser could run rings round those morons, stay strong Hun (((hugs)))

Pam x


Thanks for your kind message. Like you i had decided that i wasnt safe, that was 3 years ago and at the time I couldn’t even stand up. Since then I’ve managed to adapt and can manage wall walking inside the house but since having the twin granddaughters I wanted to see if i could get my driving back deep down I knew i couldnt but it’s amazing how you can fool yourself i just wished that i had left it and not bothered asking i think being told that you cant on paper is much more devastating Michelle x


Thanks Pat I really appreciate your kind words. I think the decision would probably be the same but I wish that they hadn’t put that I had a psychological illness. Frazer is fantastic at looking after me just now, he doesn’t want to leave my side I’m so lucky to have him. Who needs to be able to drive ??? I’ve got him and my “wishing chair” my adventures are only just starting. Michelle and Frazer xx


Sorry to read this Micell. Prats!! Give Frazer a big hug and start planning those ad adventures together. If you can’t climb over the hill, just go round it. May take a bit longer but hey. Hugs Anne X


aww Michelle , i know how you feel.I had to make a decision to stop few driving year ago.It hurt like hell too.i knew it was the right thing to do though, i missed driving a lot at first because it was my last bit of independance.I learnt to drive age 38 because i could only walk a few yards,i was over the moon when i passed my test too,it gave me such a lot of independence back at the time too,so it was such a blow to me.I still get upset over it now,but i try not to dwell on it too much.Like you say seeing it on paper is like a slap in the face.But you will adjust in time.

J x


So sorry that they were so awful. It takes some accepting, I know I found it hard giving up that last vestige of independence.

Hope you’re feeling a bit better now,

sending hugs to you and Frazer,

Nina X


Thanks Anne, you have a lovely way with words, I’ll go round the hill. Thank you everyone for your kind messages its good to know i’m not alone.

Its hard to except its another nail in the coffin…its funny when someone takes something away from you that you loved and valued its going to hurt. My youngest daughter was sad she’s never stopped asking me when will I be able to drive again, and can we get the white van back,…That was what i drove 3 years go… a Citron Dispatch, battered old van before i got my brand new Galaxy from motability its funny you’d think i’d be so excited getting a beautiful new car. Iv’e had it since July 14 …but no its actually ironic i felt very sad and Isabelle my youngest hates it .

Time to stop moaning Michelle! I’m so lucky having my Frazer and my power chair, life’s pretty good it just depends on how you look at things.

Michelle and Frazer xx


Thanks Jackie, i think loads of us have felt the same way its the last bit of independence. At the moment i’m trying my hardest to get out and use public transport an live my life and still have adventures. I’m going to stay my sons in Glasgow next weekend. I will be going on the train with my youngest daughter and Frazer…i’m still having my adventures!

Michelle and Frazer xx


Thanks Nina, I’m feeling a bit better, Lee’s been wonderful, he’s been so supportive. and my children have been very kind too. Bens desperate to take his driving test so he can take me out…And i must confess on the day i got the letter Frazer and i went out to the park and he had a free run and i had a cry and then went to Boots and bought two new lipsticks… it cheered me up immediately!

Michelle and Frazer xx


So pleased you’re getting back on track Michelle

Nina x