Bear with me, I need a little moan. I’m usually such an optimist, there for others and a pretty good listener. However, right now I need to be listened to, please. Its a grey day. I walked my daughter to school, even managed to give her a piggyback for a little while. She asked me why I had to put her down and I replied ‘Because I’m tired.’ ‘You’re always tired,’ she pointed out. Not wrong there. Today, I’m fed up of these intangible symptoms that make me feel less than myself. The fatigue, the constant dizziness that is like being ever so slightly detached from the world. The tinnitus (I’m having another cuppa, don’t really care that it makes the hissing, white static, phantom morse-code sound a bit worse. Tea is comforting). My muscles keep twitching, as if my body is trying to shake something off and I had an on-off pain in my side that was probably constipation. Weird sensations all over me that vanish almost as soon as they appear. That reoccurring tingle/stabbing pain in my back. The crap memory. The difficulty typing straight (honestly, if I didn’t edit my post as I write it, you wouldn’t be able to understand me much). Luckily, my good mummy friend who knows what I’m going through spotted me, pulled over and gave me a lift most of the way home. I ought to be working right now but I can’t concentrate. I’m giving myself time, thismorning, to snuggle up and reach out. I’m glad of my amazing phone and wireless internet (as our computer broke down last week). Six weeks exactly until I see the neurologist. Does time slow down the nearer you get? I’m hoping that she will be able to see my invisible symptoms for what they are and give me a way to deal with them. I need clarity. …and a hug.
Im sorry to hear your so down today
Your not alone believe me, i can completly sympathise with the “I’m fed up of these intangible symptoms that make me feel less than myself. The fatigue, the constant dizziness that is like being ever so slightly detached from the world”
Thats a brilliant way of describing it… I hope you get some answers from the nero, the waiting game is horrible.
Ive found you kind of have to learn how to function all over again… do little bits here and there, write everything down you need to remember (my new best friend is a little pocket notebook…untill I put that down somewhere and forget where lol)
try to push yourself on bad days but then dont do to much on a good day (you will pay for it the day after!) I was off work for 8 weeks when I had my initial attack, ive now been back for 3 months but on reduced hours. dont rush or pressure yourself to be ‘back to normal’ I know it sounds ridiculas and sometimes I hate people saying it to me but try to keep positive, keep active, even if its just walking upto the top of your garden with a cuppa for some fresh air. Ive taken up making cards, its creative but simple so whenever im feeling miserable I just sit down with my glue and stickers and have fun making a mess
Thanks, Lollipop. I’ve been in the habit of writing things down immediately on my calendar (or phone, if out and about). I write cooking times on a chalkboard, so the poor memory is being managed. I need to get hubby to write things down too, though, if he needs me to do something whilst he’s out working! I do generally keep positive and active (not being able to drive - never learned - forces me to go for walks nearly every day). As for making things…I started an online shop to sell the things I make! I have to be in the mood to create. I ought to be photographing and listing things today but its dull and so am I. So I’m letting myself rest. This too will pass…the jaffa cakes and tea helped a bit already
Sorry to hear you are having a bad day, don’t beat yourself up over it though. It’s so incrediebly frustrating when you have day’s like this (i seem to get my fair share even after dx!) Try to just rest as much as you can and try not to overthink things too much - that’s what keeps me going! Hopefully the six weeks will go faster than you think and you will be on your way to getting some answers.
Big hug ‘Snuggle up and reach out’ is a lovely expression!
Thanks Leora, oh I’m being gentle with myself. I’ve got four more days before half term which means four days of having the house to myself for 5 1/2 hours and if I need to indulge myself with blanket, sofa and TV/ internet, I will. As for overthinking…not as easy! I’ll try and distract myself. Coming on here is a help because it feels like I’m doing something useful for myself and I’m always grateful for the support.
BeccaT - thanks Feel free to use that expression anytime Life seems better from under my comfy purple fuzzy blanket right now
Oh yes half term, i’d forgotton that was coming up soon, it isn’t for a fortnight yet here. Enjoy the peace while it lasts
take care, thinking of you and wishing you will feel better soon
Big hugs. Days like this are horrible and can only be solved by being kind to yourself and cake Axx
I can be kind to cake. I’ll give it a home Thanks everyone
Big hugs, Reiki.
This Limboland sucks big-time, so tea, cake and a comfy, purple (yaay!),fuzzy blanket seem like exactly the right medicine right now.
I really hope you’re feeling brighter very soon xxx
Hi, will half term mean you mums with school age kids, can have a little lie in? or will the kids be up as usual? If so, maybe, just maybe, you`ll get brekkie in bed, eh?
Hi Poll, in my case it means I don’t have to get up quite so early but I don’t get over five hours to myself either. Breakfast in bed may well be on the cards however as hubby has planned some time off next week. The sprog and I got a lift home today from school thankfully, bless my ‘mummy friend’. Thanks to everyone’s lovely replies. I do feel brighter now and having taken the day off (as much as I can) I can consider getting something useful done tomorrow…but I’ll still take it easy.
Hi Reikiblossom, I read your post and just wanted to let you know that I can completely relate to the fatigue and constant dizziness.The waiting for the neurologist appt is awful aswell but glad you are feeling a little more yourself today.
Thanks Trueman. What gets me is the fact I’ve a six week wait with no treatment. Well, not entirely true, giving myself Reiki treatments is helping but mostly with the emotional side of things, it seems. It’s good to know that others understand
Big Hugs. It’s so difficult with kids. They are pretty resillient though and don’t usually hold it against you when you can’t do what you used to. Be kind to yourself and enjoy the odd snuggleand cake/chocolate/biccie day. Hopefully you’ll soon come out of this episode and be feeling a bit better
Thankyou, Sharon. Little’un fast asleep now and I’ll be in bed soon too! You lot have really helped me get through today, even though my experience of symptoms seems very minor compared to some. Thankyou, all
whats your online shop? Id love to have a look
Im desperate to work for myself…im working 3 days a week at the mo but really struggling, it takes all of my energy and im a zombie for the rest of the time ive set up shops on folksy and my own website but I dont have the energy to do it aswell as work, but I cant afford to quit work!! so im kind of at a brick wall argh!!