Let us look at it this way Rosie11, if you just retired what would you be doing? Having MS is a challenge oh yes lol. I used to teach hello, my name is Rosie too lol.
One day i was teaching I.T. in further education 2006, i also ran the departments and 11 learning satellite centres, had 54 tutors to deal with, wrote all the procedures and all put in place all the qualifications for I.T. including ECDL etc. I loved my job for 8 years, probably hitting 70 hours a week, writing resources and marking work lol. I had so much energy like one of those bunnies on the telly advertising batteries.
Then September 11th, 2006 i couldn’t get out of bed, and my life changed.
Right now your grieving for all the things you have lost. It is no different then dealing with loosing someone you loved, you have lost part of yourself to a disease. It does sound as you have people to see, and you can go out. I think your probably more lonely at night when all is quiet in the house. The time when you want to share things with people so what you need to try and do is fill your life with stuff in the day.
We put barriers down we do. I cant go out i am too tired, I cant go out, where would i go, I cant go out i have no one to go and see etc etc…we have a Monkey Chatter in our brain who tells us constantly what we can or cannot do. It is very negative this monkey but it is very communicative and we listen to it, all the time, and it persuades us, we are disabled therefore our lives are over, so whats the point in bothering?
So you have to sit down and think ok, what did i do? What are my skills I bet you have loads being a teacher. Where could i be useful, do i have enough energy to be supportive on line? Could I join some clubs to meet new people? Maybe i could start a coffee club at my house for disabled people… the sky is the limit.
What would you say to a student if they were faced in the same situation for example?
Being suddenly disabled is hard its acceptance of it. I bet you like a challenge so I challenge you to find a way to live with your disability and have a life.
Where does one start?
Hummm well first thing is fatigue is your main issue, so if you can afford it, buy yourself a scooter. You can go out most days to the shops or even join a few classes at college. Why not?
Do you still drive? Take a day and go have a pamper, nails hair etc, if you find that to tiring than grab the yellow pages and find someone who does it mobile. I did, i have my hair and nails done at home. Fancy a message (now keep it clean lol), you can even have one of those at home lol…why not.
Cinema, its not tiring pop there and go watch a film, in the day how decadant is that lol…maybe take your mum out for lunch, or friends you must have them.
Look at the positives of not working. Not having to get up early, no more marking, running around like a looney tune, you can just relax and breath, have time to sit in the garden enjoying a cup of coffee bliss. I decided actually if MS hadnt got me a stroke would have as at one point my blood pressure whilst working was 215/115 lol…oops.
So what else can you do, well you could even make a facebook group for teachers with a disability etc, or teachers with MS, or support on here.
what skills do you have? did you teach literacy and numercy, have you thought of having a few private pupils to help them get through exams, who can come to you?
Look at all the positives in your life there will be loads, and all the things you did.
OK we are disabled, but we can still have a life you can even meet someone new oh yes you can, and get married oh yes you can, you have MS, it doesnt define who you are, you tell it to bog off, and you are gong to challenge it, as it has no right to tell you what to do with your life only you have that. LIFT the barrier of your grief, you have started because you have posted about it, one step at a time. I can guarantee in six months time you will be a new women.
A lot of places now have evening clubs for friends who can just get together not a singles club but a place where people can just join and chat and have a laugh, my friend joined one and met her second husband at one. Make new friends.
Why not ask your ex to meet his girlfriend, have them over for sunday lunch and enjoy their company, why not, you might find she is a really nice person and you can have a new friend.
You have time now to do all those things you wanted to do but never could. Set yourself little challenges, and become a new women who is a viking and no illness is going to stop you. Find that person who used to keep a class of students under control and get back your life.
Go on you know you want too. Remember baby steps, grieve, shout, scream, rant rave, then get even with it, tell your monkey chatter to bog off, your now back in charge. xxxxxxx