I’m losing hope.
I’ve been suffering a lot for the past few months and my doctor is settling on anxiety. I thought it was going well after he offered blood tests, medication changes, physio, eye tests. When they all came back normal he mentioned MS and a referral to neurology, but said he wanted to do a cervical spine x-ray first. I agreed to do it to rule things out and he said if it was clear he’d make the referral for me. I finally, finally felt like I was being listened to.
I went back for the results and they were clear, but he had changed his mind? He wants to change my anxiety medication first. Even after he lowered my current one twice while trying to figure out what was going on. And then said that neurology probably wont take me on and it’s probably my state of mind.
I’m feeling fed up and can’t understand why he can’t just make the referral. I’m constantly exhausted to the point in which I can barely get words out. My arms are weak to the point where picking up a cup feels hard. I have tingling, numbness, dizziness, I’m bumping into things and dropping one thing after the other. I’m unsteady, I have neck pain, brain fog and headaches. I don’t know what else to do.
A horrible part of me wants something to get worse just so I have a reason to go to A&E without feeling like a burden to the health system. I have dealt with anxiety for over ten years, I know what it feels like for me. This is not it.
Has anyone else had this sort of experience with doctors? I’m not sure what else I can do unless something gets worse, but I feel like I can’t live my life anymore.