Daughter’s dad with MS in denial / driving

I’m just wondering if anyone more knowledgeable than me can give me any advice about this? My ex partner pretends that he does not have MS even though he was diagnosed 20 years ago. He has nerve damage in his arm and leg but can walk ok. I am aware that he has relapses too but he never goes to any medical appointments to monitor what is happening.

The main issue is that we have a little girl. He wants to have overnight contact with her but how can I be sure he’s able to drive safely and look after her if he ignores relapses and refuses to accept medical help? I made the difficult decision to report him to the DVLA because he hasn’t told them either. He gets angry if I suggest that he should be doing more to make sure he’s well.

In the meantime would it be unreasonable to not let him drive her anywhere?

Hi, no wonder you’re worried about his capabilities to look after your daughter safely.

I would be concerned too.

Is there anyone else who would accompany him and your daaughter when out and about? Maybe his mum?


Hi, if your ex has MS then he is legally obliged to notify DVLA or face a fine if does not do so (ie. a medical condition that affects driving) and maybe worse still finds his insurance is voided/legal issue if involved in an accident.

Of course, doesn’t mean he would need to stop driving and whilst DVLA make enquiries would usually be allowed to continue to drive.

You’ve probably seen the link on Gov website - perhaps worth mentioning to him, albeit may not pay any attention?

Multiple sclerosis and driving - GOV.UK (

Hi, I just thought I’d say to you, maybe not to worry too much. Obviously I don’t know you’re exes "disabilities "!

I had MS for 20yrs before I was eventually diagnosed, only due to a bad relapse. Now have a severe limp,but before this carried on as normal. I used to have 2 jobs . Run around after my teenage daughters, play netball in a league. Then as time went on , look after my grandchildren, now teenagers.

In all this time, I am now 62,have been able to drive.

I hope you can find out how his MS is affecting him. Everyone is different with this condition

best wishes Kim x