I feel absolutely awful today… Terrible brain fog, terrible dizziness, terrible memory, (I almost forgot to mention my memory! Very ironic!), horrible weakness in my legs, and a headache like there’s a band being tightened around my brain. -_-
I’ve been needing to clean out my fish tank but I still can’t bring myself to do it. Standing is already hard enough and I just don’t trust what is going on. I feel like it’s happening too quickly and I’m getting scared I’ll never get better, just keep getting worse and worse.
My boyfriend who is trying to give up smoking has told me that all the symptoms I have could be due to how I have just recently (just over a week!) given up smoking as he is suffering from similar symptoms!
However, it is still the internuclear ophthalmoplegia (if you look it up, you will see the very strong connection to MS), which is making me pretty much self-diganose. Do you think this is silly of me?
In any case it is making me quite convinced that I do have MS.
If this is a relapse, how long do they usually last? :S I guess it’s as hard to predict as the MS symptoms themselves… Argh. I just want my old life back. -_- I never suspected that things like this would happen to me so early on in my life. I guess it’s just a matter of taking note of the simple pleasures: the things I AM still able to do, like music, watching entertaining things, speaking to my boyfriend… whatever I can.
I hope this doesn’t come across badly, but all the things which have been happening to me lately (depression included) are really making me realise how precious life is. I am hoping that the severity of these symptoms might lift soon.