I was dx 2 1/2 weeks ago. Since then I have just been bumbling along as normal really. I have told parents, a few friends and my boss, but no big announcement.
It was my Dad’s 60th birthday party this weekend, lots of family and family friends. I had made a birthday cake and was really looking forward to it. Until I realised that word had spread of my ‘news’. That’s all anyone wanted to talk to me about. It was miserable. I realised afterwards, I should have just said I didn’t want to talk about it. But at the time, I felt it would be rude. I’ve since realised that what’s rude is forcing someone to talk about something like that at their Dad’s birthday party!
I could hardly moan on about it, so just had to plaster on a smile and tell people I was fine whilst they quizzed me on the finer points of Multiple Sclerosis.
My Mum’s best friend’s husband basically asked me how long I’ve got.
My husband had to be elsewhere and arrived late to the party. He found me hiding out in my old bedroom. I begged him not to make me go back out there!! He hugged me, gave my hand a squeeze and promised not leave my side. He was as good as his word and stuck with me all night and that seemed to put people off asking me about it.
I know I should get used to it as it’s a part of my life now, but I just wasn’t expecting to be bombarded and it all took me by surprise.
Anyway, a bit of a nothing post, just wanted to get it off my chest
It’s a bit of a touchy one is this. If I had a friend or family member, who had been diagnosed with MS and did’nt say anything when in their company, I would feel rude. At the same time, my own common sense and good manners would not allow me to overstep the mark. Unfortunately, some people never cease to amaze me with the speed of opening their mouths before putting their brains in gear
Sounds like you have a lovely husband to look after you PG, always handy to have your own personal hero
I really feel for you. When everything is so raw and recent, a person has had no opportunity to prepare her defences and is so vulnerable to these kind of booby-traps. It is really tough that you got mugged so early and in such difficult circumstances. What to do? Well, first of all congratulate yourself on having withstood the barrage with the help of some covering fire from your trusty OH, and having come through it with colours flying, by the sounds of it. Very well done. Nothing of the kind is going to be that tough again. If you summoned up the courage and presence of mind to come through that one, you can come through anything! Try not to feel too bruised, and instead draw strength from the fact that you handled it. Alison
Thank you guys for your replies, they’ve certainly made me feel better about the whole thing.
I know that they were all being caring in their own ways, but it’s all so new to me, and I just didn’t really feel ready or prepared for the onslaught.
I also didn’t realise my parents would have told everyone already! A heads-up would have been nice.
Thank you for your kind words - they’ve cheered me up no end today
(((Hugs))) You coped very well with a difficult situation. And as Alison says, no other family gathering is going to be so tough. You coped with that, you can cope with anything!
Honestly they probably felt like they had to ask. Try not to let it get to you. It all becomes boring pretty quickly for other people. You’ll be lucky to get a ‘how are you?’ in 6 months. At least you got a lot of people out of the way in a short blast as hard as it was. My husband actually told me he forgets about it yesterday, I wish I bloomin could…
Hopefully now they have asked all of their questions, there won’t be any more to answer!
I hate it when people stop me and quiz me about it, it feels like that is all they see me as - the girl with MS I want to scream at them ‘that’s not who I am. MS doesn’t define me!’
But at the same time, I understand that they (like me) have a lot of questions about it and want to know so they can help and be aware. Bringing attention to MS isn’t necessarily a bad thing (whilst it can feel overwhelming at the time), the more people that know, the more support you have! Unfortunately, I have found that people expect me to be an expert on the subject which I am definitely not!
Oh Pandagal, well done hunni. What a weird situation to be in. You coped better than I would. I think I might have lost it and said a few swear words! I know where you’re coming from. Well done, you did really well xxxxx
I want to scream at them ‘that’s not who I am. MS doesn’t define me!’
I know where you’re coming from. Well done, you did really well xxxxx