Although my wife has had benign MS since she was in her early twenties it has recently developed into the remitting relapse type , sorry if I use the wrong terminology all this is new to me. About 18 months ago she lost her Mum and the stress caused quite a severe episode which caused her the loss of about 25% of her mobility. She was forced to stop work and now claims ESA and DLA, God what a bloody nightmare getting those was. We are both having to adapt to a whole new lifestyle, I suffer from long term depression and have changed my role to house husband a number of years ago, the hardest bit for Fran has been the loss of her nursing career. She has always been career minded and losing this has for want of a better description robbed her of her purpose. She is almost in a state of denial with her favourite phrase being that she sometimes feels a fraud, despite becoming tired after doing nothing and suffering from dizziness and vertigo LOL I suppose I am popping on here in the hope that knowing others are in the same boat and maybe can offer advice will help me and Fran cope a little better. AnyWay forgive my rambling but hello to you all Nige
Hello Nige, mmm, the 2 of you each have health problems. Sam in our gaff. me with this half diagnosis of spastic paraparesis/cause unknown, and hubby with both rheumatoid and oesteo arthritis. Hubby is my main carer and we have 3 others doing a total of 16.75 hours, plus 1 sleepover a week.
We were both in senior, well paid jobs and changing to being at home together 24/7 did take some getting used to.
We`ve been retired from proper paid jobs for 15 years now. Going onto benefits, and work pensions also took a helluva lot of coming to terms with and cost cutting measure are still hitting us hard, when summat needs replacing. We spent more than our pay outs on altering the house and buying equipment and mobility aids for me…that soon depleted the bank balance. We mostly live on an overdraft now!
I think you and Fran will do well to find some hobbies/outlets you can do separately and some together. I watch tv in our bedroom, hubby watches tv in the lounge in the evenings.
I socialise a lot here and with carers when they take me out. Hubby potters in his workshop and garden.
I do understand how some people can feel kind of lost, when they have to make radical changes to their lifestyle. Ive spent a lot of my life since retirement, as lost.............due to me not fitting into any exact medical category. Ive sort of felt like im on the outside, looking in.....a biut like watching a party through a window, when I havent been invited.
Does any of this load of stuff make sense to you at all? If so, does it help you understand your own feelings?
luv Pollx
Hi Nige
My name is Dave and my wife was diagnosed with MS in 2005.
She retired through ill health at the age of 51 and was devastated. It was awful watching her feeling so down about finishing work at that age.
Just want you know that me and my wife are in the same boat and understand the feelings you are both suffering.
PM me if you need to chat.
Dave