2015 - not so good.

Everyday living
21

Thanks Carole - I’m NOT afraid of it - unlike some women, I’ve never been tempted to trim a few years off my age.

Thanks to MS, I already feel a lot older than I actually am, so 50 is not much, compared to how old my body tells me I am.

No, I’m not fearing it, and not grumpy about that in itself. Just grumpy that I’ll be sitting at home doing nothing, I suppose.

I could go out to a restaurant or something, but with whom?

Not much point having your “celebration dinner” by yourself. I always feel people without a partner, or family nearby, are penalised in that respect. “Oooh, your birthday - are you doing anything special?” With whom? If you don’t have a romantic partner, who is meant to organise all these lovely things, and go with you? Workmates? Fairly unlikely while I was still working, and now I don’t - so that’s out.

So not scared - just a bit peeved my “special day” won’t be very special - not unless I arrange it, and go alone. Funnily enough, I didn’t mind about Christmas - think it’s overrated anyway, and didn’t feel sad about doing my own thing.

I don’t even mind about “normal” birthdays - some years I’ve done something (by myself), other years I haven’t. But one’s 50th is a bit different. It’s a bit like nobody doing anything for your 21st - or 18th, as is more commonly celebrated now.

Sorry - I’m getting ahead of myself anyway.

It’s just we were talking about 2015 not being very nice, and I’m afraid I don’t see 2016 getting much nicer. Just a real damp squib of an uncelebrated birthday in it. Didn’t mean to derail the thread.

Tina

x

22

Please forgive me for sounding patronising but your fighting spirit does you proud. Let 2016 be a good one for you and carry on the fight. You’ve doubtlessly given food for thought to many here, and certainly me. Take care and don’t rule out the pub if you want to go to it. Fluffyollie xx

23

Hi Tina, From your previous posts you have come across as really logical and stoic (in the most positive way I mean) so I won’t try to talk you into having a party, but you have got to treat yourself to something nice to mark the occasion. as my wife was telling me yesterday, 50 is the new 40! Fluffyollie xx

24

Haha, I’m logical above all - both my strongest virtue and greatest fault, as it means I don’t ever really let my hair down.

So I won’t be planning a large party with dozens of guests - I don’t think I know dozens of people to invite. And I have a small family - both Mum & Dad were only children, so no aunties, uncles, cousins, none of it. Some people can fill a hall just with their relatives - I can’t.

I agree that “something” ought to be done - it’s just that it will probably be by myself, and I can’t figure out what yet. It can’t be very expensive either, so premium cultural touring holiday is probably out - although I’d love to do one more of those, before I finally get too ill to hack it.

Tina

x

25

Tina,

You appear to be a cultured individual and I notice that you are studying History of Art. I do not know your abilities but have you considered a staycation (God forgive me for typing that word) and spending your money on tickets for a festival of arts and music near your home, at a time on or near to your birthday?

They usually offer a variety of treats such as exhibitions, talks and concerts during the day and evening, if you do evenings. I live in Suffolk and we have an embarrassment of riches when it comes to arts festivals. Our major one is the Aldeburgh Festival that takes up two weeks in June. I have been going for years, often on my own, although I tend to favour the daytime events as much as possible. You can hide in the crowd or talk to your neighbour, as takes your fancy. The buzz is infectious.

I appreciate that buying tickets in advance is a risk for us, but there are often tickets available on the door for the more obscure contemporary music concerts and they are always rewarding. I have heard some strange sounds, which are still with me.

I am often accused of being pompous, but my intention is always otherwise. I apologise if the above is stating the bleeding obvious, and that you are already a seasoned festival goer, or that it is not your thing at all.

I often prefer a few days at a festival, with breaks inbetween, to a full blown holiday. I live about 25 minutes by car from Aldeburgh and Snape so I can always make a bolt for home, if I am not up to it.

Just a thought, and best wishes for 2016.

Alun

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26

Thanks for the tip, Alun.

Never really thought about “that kind” of festival. I tend to have a mental image of Glasto, and think: “No way!” (it’s not that I wouldn’t like the music, but wouldn’t like the squalor - indeed, couldn’t cope with it now), but of course, there are many different types of festival - and not all in a field!

I don’t know. It’s something to research a bit. I’m limited by the fact I don’t drive, so of course, that makes any trip very much more daunting, hauling my own luggage, and also greatly increases the expense. I’ve stayed in some sweet little guest houses, so it doesn’t have to be a 4-star hotel (but would be nice!), but sometimes the rail fares are nearly as much as the accommodation. It’s frightening!

And of course, with MS you want some flexibility - as you say, pre-booked tickets are a bit dodgy for us. But of course, the most flexible tickets - that you can just turn up and go, without having to pick a train - are also the most expensive.

Tina

27

Good bye 2015 and good riddence…you have gone down as a major life lesson…you’ve taught me much about myself and others, how shallow they can be and how kind others are, so thanks for that but you can have a big middle finger for all the crap.

Positives of 2015: ???..errrrm…won a stuffed toy zebra at a zoological conference and made some fabulous new friends.

Negatives of 2015: MS diagnosis, depression, engagement/relationship split, had to reduce my hours at work due to MS, other progression of symptoms, mum ill and was in and out of hospital/doctors for months, blah, blah, blah.

Looking forwards to 2016…New neurologist (MS specialist), DMD’s at last, joining the gym, January holiday in Thailand, loads of motorbiking at every dry opportunity, Green Gathering festival, friends wedding, making time for creativity, spending time with friends and loads of other great things!

BYE 2015…YOU SUCKED and I gave that zebra to my dog, he has now symbolically destroyed it.

Nikki

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28

Thank you FluffyOllie, i have a very supportive family and some amazing friends around me which makes a big difference, i do still go to the pub (and really enjoy it) but i tend to stick with my local in the village and the pubs in town which are more food orientated rather than the trendy pubs in town with live bands playing etc

Hope 2016 is a great year for you to

Jemma x

29

I’m sorry but the bit with your hound destroying the toy, did make me chuckle!!! Yey for Thailand and festivals though!!! Jealous xx

30

2013 followed by 2014 were my years from hell. This one has not been bad for me. I started the year off with the diagnosis but it had been hanging over my head for two years prior. It did at least mean I finally had access to decent medication (Lemtrada). That procedure went well and the MS has remained quiet for me. No relapses thankfully. I became a home owner, had a couple of fantastic holidays and got a new pet. I’ve finished part of my masters course. Work have been supportive. I have lovely friends. I’m hoping 2016 will bring me an equally calm and event free year.

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31

My 50th birthday seems like a lifetime ago. We went to Lake Como and had a brilliant holiday although my walking was a bit suspect. When we got home my daughters’ had booked a meal which was lovely. Then the dreaded dx. I honestly had no clue apart from the doctor saying it could be Parkinson’s. It’s been downhill ever since but at least I had a lovely 50th birthday. If I had known what was in store I would have done my Canadian dream trip, the one we were planning to do when we retired.

So moral of the story never put anything you really want to do off as you never know what’s round the corner.

im like you Carole I cannot believe how much I have aged in the last 8 years despite slathering on Oil of Ulay. Oh well wrinkles have never killed anyone. Also got the dreaded 60th in 2 years. Now that Is one I am dreading.

Mags xx

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