to forgive allows you to move forward. My first husband robbed me of money, dignity and confidence and many other things. I did forgive him, and i am glad I did. My heart isnt heavy with hate anymore. He died lonely the saying goes what goes around comes around. I live my life by my own principals it works for me.
Your sister may want to make amends but has no idea how.
As to visits to grave. OK i used to take mum to the cemetary with my care worker to visit dad as she would polish his stone. There was a space ready for her when the time came.
When mum died it was unnecessary and a screw up by the NHS, long story but she left us at 93, she was my rock i could go visit her and she would always make me feel better.
I went to cemetary when she died.
I cant go back. I know i just cant. the thought of her being there breaks my heart. I have flowers for her and my brother takes them. I have her picture with dad by me all the time, and I have my memories of her in my heart. to me she isnt in there in the ground she is in my heart, my memories i can feel her.
so as to your sister maybe she is like me and cant cope with going as then you know that person has passed away and is no longer there.
sending a card reaching out is not a sign of weakness or even forgiveness but acceptance that she is there still, and maybe she really needs you. who knows.
but i felt a ton better when i forgave my ex, i was full of hatred for him and wished him harm in my head. before he died we were friends. I did feel much more able to cope with things, and have lived by that now forgive and forget. Its easier to forgive then to hold on to the feelings of hate towards someone who has no idea that feeling exists even. xxxxxxxx
At least your not in the dog house lol. big hugs, if people just take one thing from my story i am happy. so many people have opened up to me, since i posted it. Its like a form of therepy. xxxx