I’ve been told to stop taking Avonex because my MS nurse, and consultant, are concerned about my mental health. I’ve got mixed feelings about this because I liked the once-a-week aspect of Avonex, and don’t get any physical side effects. I said a couple of things about my self-esteem that obviously ticked a box saying ‘stop immediately!’
Though initially I felt certain that it wasn’t causing me any problems, and blamed my ‘stress’ on work, I’m starting to realise that I have been feeling very anxious a lot of the time (even when I ‘know’ I’m in control), and I’ve been getting more paranoid. I’ve always been prone to this sort of thinking (though I’m good at being cheerful too!), and so I think I’ve been coping with it getting gradually worse, thinking it was part of the MS package, and that I must try harder to get over it.
I’ve been trying so hard to be a ‘good girl’ and cope ‘bravely’ on the surface, while underneath I am frightened that I’m going to suddenly stop coping and then I can’t imagine where I’d be. Work has been very busy so I’ve had that to blame it on.
And I’ve been increasingly self-medicating with booze and painkillers, to help me calm down. Sometimes I feel that I just can’t cope without ‘something’ to switch off part of my brain. No dangerous quantities yet but it is starting to worry me.
So I’ve got a consultants appt in two weeks, where I guess he’ll suggest I try something else - Copaxone? I don’t get the feeling my symptoms are bad enough to warrant one of the newer drugs, though I will ask.
I’d be really interested to hear if anyone else has had a similar experience - if not, it’s very good just to be able to share my thoughts with you all.