The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys’ side of the story.
( I must admit, it’s pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules"
From the female side…
Now here are the rules from the male side.
…
These are our rules!
Please note… these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!
- Men are NOT mind readers.
(FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)
1… Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
- Sunday sports or news, It’s like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1… Crying is blackmail.
-
Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it! -
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
-
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. -
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. -
If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
Don’t ask us. -
If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
-
You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself. -
Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials…
-
Captain Cook did NOT need directions and neither do we.
-
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. -
If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that. -
If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle… -
If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
-
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really .
-
Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football
or Cars. -
You have enough clothes.
-
You have too many shoes.
-
I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
-
Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.