sticks and stones

When i was young i was taught the old verse sticks and stones will brake my bones but names will never hurt me. I then become an adult with PPMS, Osteoporosis, Endometriosis and menopause . IN my thirty year marriage my husbands sister has come out with many a hurtful comment not just aimed at me , however her latest was that as a disabled person i am a second class person and i need to get use to it i know if i retaliated she would scream and shout like when i was trying to set a laptop up for my brother in law who has cerebral palsy and she said dont bother as he isn’t capable (he was) when i said enough she called me a f@@@ bitch, so i have made the deciision to no longer be in her company, life is much easier. My brother is getting married soon and i offered to drive him and his future wife out to visit my aunt , my sister found out and made the comment why was i not included when i said it was not about you she put the phone down, now she has also said look at you looked after yourself all your days and you are now bu@@@ i drink like a fish and i am fine.

These people think they have the right to throw insults , but when i walk away or answer them back i am the one with the issue.

Sticks and stones yes on one occassion but not constant

rant over


That’s just awful Trish I feel both annoyed and very sad for you. Things hurt me more now I’m disabled and also menopausal too. My family are kind but the already worthless feeling that I feel and comes from my own self-esteem issues would be in tatters if people came out with comments like that. I think she is someone who I’d distance my self from , maybe she’s jealous of you , that despite having a disability you cope so well and are a happy caring person who thinks about others . Try not to let it get to you. She might not have your disability and as she admits she’s abused her body …but she’s not truly happy. Michelle and Frazer xx sent from my mobile phone

Thats so awful i totally agree with Michelle,nasty people like that are that unhappy they take it out of vulnerable people.I have had friends do the same and even family so i thought the best thing to do was distance myself,its the only way.Ignore the comments and be thankful you are not like that.


J x

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It must be something in the water Trish.

I’ve just ranted in a new thread.

I forgot to include the “it’s all right for you” phrase often uttered sotto voce but with the venom of Jabba the Hut’s breath.

It’s often heard as I jump the queue at an airport.

Sorry to hear about the ignorance of family. I’m now single again because I bit back and shattered the illusions of in-law sanctimony. I’ve had a life exploring people and places. I’ve welcomed all sorts of people into my social compass. The self-centred bigotry of the flat earth society mentality makes me spit blood.

Best wishes. We are strong-stronger than most.


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When my sister put the phone down I sighed with relief my sister has always been looked after by me and my family because of the MS I no longer have the energy and it is now hitting home with her I know there is an element of jealousy in both females but I didn’t ask for this quite the opposite my husband said she will think you are getting selfish MS nurse said it is called looking after yourself


Damn it! There seems to be an epidemic of jealous nit wits about. I feel for you Trish. Relatives & so called friends, can say some spiteful crap just to get their way. A disability seems an excuse for all kinds of attitudes & insults. I brought a mountain bike many moons ago, with the intension of getting some exercise. It’s eyed up by most folks who think they should be entitled to it. I’m determined to ride it myself & they say you can’t. You’ll get your PiP stopped & folks will say you’re okay. You can’t do normal things. I just pumped the tyres up & I may go to visit. Ring the bell & put my finger up as I ride off. Folks just don’t like others doing anything. A disabled person is supposed to be in a wheelchair & sit in a room on their own. These idiots cause the problems. Narcasistic, brain dead, loonatics. With a bag of chips on their shoulders. Take it easy Trish & rise above them. The best quote is, did you hear someone say something. I’m going deaf!

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Hi Trish

I am so sorry you had to endure such a vile outburst, and my advice to you would be definitely give this person a wide berth, it I’ll be her loss.

We have more than enough to cope with without abuse, you are the stronger one, rise above it.

Pam x

I have had similar with my brother who was a very fit individual called me a spastic and other things many times he ran marathons when in his sixties he now has leukemia and ppms he has changed completely I don’t see him he stays abroad

But speak on the phone he now knows what it’s like ’

Trish, I think the fact that even she admits she drinks like a fish says it all - she is obviously a very unhappy individual, but that gives her no right to try and make others around her as miserable, she is poisonous.

Steve, when you get to jump the queue in an airport, just remember - it’s for the staff’s benefit, not necessarily yours. Perhaps you could ask the staff to queue as you don’t feel you should get special treatment next time you hear some comment like that, and let the staff do the explaining.

I’m not in a very forgiving mood today!

Jo x

sister called and asked if i wanted to go for coffee, ah down south for weekend , amazing folk trample over your feelings and no apology

Hope you said no, Trish, make her come to you.

I’m not in a forgiving mood again today!

Back in 1989, I was a (very) mature PhD student, just starting at a new university. Part of the deal was that I became a tutor to two groups of undergraduates. My supervisor said “I have allocated you a couple of disabled students - I hope you don’t mind”.

One of those was a girl with cerebral palsy. Judith was a Rumanian girl who had come over here in her late twenties to do her A levels, and got them, and English was her 5th language. I talked one of the charities into paying for a PC for her.
She got her Psychology BSc, went on to another uni and did a Masters in research methods, and then got a job with the Medical Research Council at Cambridge.

So, I will not believe that people with CP are not capable. Not never, ever.



I have one sister that seems to have very little clue what I go thru daily but at least she isn’t unkind I suppose. Rotten that she acts like everything is normal now! Deep breath time Trish - just remember you don’t need to put up with it.

Sonia x

Isn’t CP one of those really cruel diseases, where your body is disabled, but your brain isn’t?

Francesca Martinez has it, and she is one smart (and funny) cookie.

And knowing how some people treat me (I often wish I had a removeable plaster cast for my unco-operative right leg, a kind of visual clue that I have a problem with my leg, not my head), pwCP must really get the “does (s)he take sugar?” comment.

I think it’s your sister who’s the f@@@@ bitch, Trish

Jo (who seems to be aka The Terminator at the moment!)


i have learnt so much from this thread-thanks.

i am the eldest of 5 and never have experienced any of what you say-my siblings are as sarcastic, funny and supportive as usual. They have to help me physically but otherwise life is as mad as ever!


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Hi Trish

There is another saying that is very apt for this thread.

“Empty vessels make the most noise.”

Best wishes,


My sister in law has come out with rubbish since I have known her 33 years I don’t go into her company if I can help it, regarding sister think she is jealous of attention brother is getting tough she has been spoiled all her days and she isn’t coping with not being centre of attention. I am taking a step back away from her till brother gets married at end of month as I want it to go off without a hitch, brother said let her cool in the water she boilled in. I now do charity work and afraid see how people with disabilities are treated far too often badly

I feel for you Trish, I have two sister in laws…one is one of the nicest people you could wish to meet and the other is utterly evil but she manages to say things in such a sly way that often people don’t register at first, I find this all the more aggravating…oh my goodness she drives me insane…I’m already getting myself worked up just thinking of her!

You have my every sympathy,

Take care,


glad to hear from you Nina hope you are ok, funny you saying that about your s-i-l my husband and his mother don’t pick up what she is saying, however how do explain saying to someone ‘disabled people are second class citizens and they need to get use to living with this’. I will no longer be in her company my brother in law hit her wonder why poor thing he has to live with her at least i can walk away. Regarding sister my hubby and son said get back in contact , said yes after brother’s wedding they said she might be annoyed i said i think my health needs to be looked after first, but truthfully want my brothers wedding to go well. She is jealous of the attention but at 49 she needs to go up.

Well sister isn’t liking being ignored, has said to brother ,what is she playing at. She obviously is use to the old me running after, I no longer can and she can’t cope, time to grow up I think but I am enjoying the break sometimes MS has has its benefits.