Right well yesterday I ended up at the out of hours GP because after waking up at 8am my right arm would just not stop jerking and twitching, and if nothing else, it was actually really hurting my shoulder and neck and I kept thinking I cannot go until Monday to see my own GP.
Well, I saw a lovely doctor who took time with me to ask about whats been going on with me, listened to me (which is obviously so important to all us in Limboland) and then suggested that I immediately start on a beta blocker called propanolol (? anyone else on this?) and phone the neuro I am due to see on 3rd July to see if there are any cancellations before then. He also said that all my symptoms correspond with progressive MS and maybe even with Parkinsons. So off I toddle (having cried in front of my 17yr daughter which is something I would never do) and go to the local pharmacy to get this new prescription. The pharmacist was great as there was me jerking all over the place, feeling stupid and feeling like I could burst into tears at any point. So I got taken into a consulting room to sit down (calm down) and the pharmacist came in and was just so amazingly lovely and explained all about the beta blockers etc, and also asked about my symptoms. She even suggested that I get straight onto DLA to get that paid as there is no way I should be driving (terrible eyesight - Optic Neuritis in both eyes back with a vengeance) and there is no way I should be working (I did explain that I havent worked now for over 12 weeks and was on Emp Support Allowance).
Now, whilst I am forever grateful for the wonderful doctors I have seen so far, and for this pharmacist too, I am just so scared now. I cannot for one minute imagine having a disability as I am 48 and have always been relatively healthy. And I cannot imagine also having to get support on a daily basis, as I am so independent. My wonderful fiance is great, but we dont live together, we are just together every weekend. So I am now very scared. I fear for my future and I fear for my independence too. Can someone please give me some words of encouragement as at the moment my future is looking a little bleak. As I said, yesterday was definitely not the best day I have ever had.
Can I also say thank you for the amazing support you all give. I, for one, appreciate this so much and have found this site an absolute Godsend for me. x