New diagnosis & single mum - yikes!

Hi All,

I’ve attempted to post on here a few times over the last few days but I’m feeling so strange as my diagnosis hasn’t even sunk in yet.

I was diagnosed 10 days ago after experiencing my first symptoms back in May. I wasn’t expecting it to be honest. When my Consultant told me I happily nodded and on my way out, cheerfully thanked him.

I’m 42 and a single mum to two amazing girls (11 & 13). I get them into bed and spend the rest of the evening crying, worrying about how I’m going to cope alone.

Has anyone else been in this situation?


Yes and no. Mine were 10 & 12 when I left their father. I’d had MS for some 20-25 years but still didn’t have a diagnosis. Mine grew up knowing that mum couldn’t run and play but that I was great at sitting in one place to read, snuggle, or cheer them on.

If you’ve been diagnosed with RRMS (and it’s important to know what kind you have), then it should be a slow progression. See what kind of disease modifying drugs they suggest for you. The sooner you get on one, the better off you’ll be.

It’s always frightening in the beginning, but unless you’re in the midst of a relapse right now you’ll discover that your life hasn’t really changed. Your girls are old enough to help you, so if you’ve been doing everything for them, it’s time to change that. Eventually, you may discover that it’s difficult to carry a full laundry basket up and down several flights of stairs, or you might want a bar stool to sit on sometimes while cooking or washing dishes.

Give yourself time to grieve the diagnosis, but don’t wallow in it. Before too long, you’ll realize that this is just one more thing to deal with every day, and you won’t think any more about it than you do brushing your teeth or cleaning the toilet.

I’ve now been dealing with MS for more than 40 years. I worked until 18 months ago, still live alone and look after my own home. Being a single parent is hard enough in itself, so cut yourself some slack. Find shortcuts to save time and energy, and don’t worry that you’ll scar the girls for life if you have to limit some of your activities. They’ll grow up just fine.

Hi K8TE,

I would be terrified at the prospect of being a parent and bringing up 2 amazing children, and you might say “Hmm, a bit scary, but you adapt and get used to it”
You are probably better equipped to adapt than you think. Try not to concentrate too hard on the myriad of potential “what if’s”
Remember all the amazing things you have done with your family.

All the best to you and your family.

Thank you for your replies. My daughters already help around the house and I’m sure that once I know what I’m facing I’ll just get on with it like I’ve done with other things! Thanks again x