It's my own fault!

Down to London to visit relatives then to funeral in South Wales – overdone it – now in the middle of a bad patch – completely knacked – right arm barely functioning – it will pass…

BUT I’m supposed to be going on holiday on Wednesday with the family (my partner + daughter + her husband and two youngsters) and I don’t want to let them down. At the moment can’t face the very long train journey. They can manage perfectly well without me but I feel by not going I’m letting them down. Don’t know whether to struggle and go or bite the bullet and give the holiday a miss. (It’s a two week holiday - feel that if I had a week at home I could manage the second week)


do you mean that you would manage to get to them on your for the 2nd week?

is it possible to have max rest during the 2 weeks or would u be expected to join in the activities-even if thats cafe for meal-i dont mean extreme sports!

only you can decide-u know ur limits. is being with them for 2 weeks less worrying for all rather than u being at home alone? i am just making these suggestions off top of my head-you will make the right decision for u.

ellie xxx

sorry-that should say on ur own for the 2nd week.

e x

Hi Anon, going on the ‘one day at a time’ philosophy, Wednesday is a whole 2 and a bit days away. You just might be feeling better by then… esp if you can get some rest.

Would it be at all possible for you to have a week at home and join them for the second week? Could you manage the travelling on your own?

Sometimes we just have to be completely honest with people. You could tell them exactly how you feel and say you can’t manage the two weeks but you’d like to join them for the second week.

You won’t be letting them down. Of course they’ll miss you but they will manage, as you say. And it’s really awful trying to drag yourself away on holiday when you have fatigue. Turns into a nightmare.

I think even the thought of travelling wears us out. It does me.

Pat x


From past experience I know I need about 4/5 days to get back on an even keel. What I want to do is stay home until I feel well enough and then join everyone for the second week.

It’s not going to affect anyone else’s holiday it’s just I feel I will be letting everyone down. It’s a bit illogical of me to think like that because the reality is that I have m.s. and m.s. causes problems.


yes-u have ms and it causes problems BUT there are also solutions-and you will find the one that suits you and your family

ellie x

Why can’t you have those 4/5 days with them? It might not take that long and you don’t want to waste a day with them.

Of course it is going to affect their holiday! They want you there, not sitting at home so in a way you will be letting them down. Yes, you have MS and yes it causes problems but does it have to spoil their holiday too? They want you to be with them, if you go now you won’t have to travel alone, you’ll have help, you can rest for as long as necessary when you get there, and everyone is happy.

Go on, go with them now.

Val, your post made me feel bad!!

My dilemma was either stay at home and hope my right arm and leg go into some sort of recovery or risk a 300mile + train journey which may exacerbate things.

The choice I have made is to rest at home for a week then definitely go rather than going on Wednesday and risk a worsening of the m.s.and ending up being no use to anyone.

Oh goodness, I’m so sorry. It does sound a bit harsh, doesn’t it? I suppose my thinking was that a family holiday is so special, that I’d hate to miss a moment of it and let any aspect of MS get in the way if I could help it.

I hope you feel much better for resting at home and can fully enjoy the rest of the holiday when you get there. I’m sure you will. Have a lovely time.

In my book everyone has a gut instinct in times like these and it seems you have gone with yours.

If you are generally very good at hiding how much you suffer it may come as a shock to the family that the exertions of last week will affect this week…to the extent of having to join them later.

As long as you use this opportunity to tell them all why you are missing the first week and your fears of the consequences if you did go with them,I am sure they will understand.It may well make the second week even more special with everyone focussed on making sure your needs are factored into each day.

Hope you recover quickly so you do enjoy your break


Enjoy the first week on your own - recharging your batteries. lt will make the second week with your family more enjoyable and l am sure they will fully understand.

Don’t go feeling that you have let them down - we all suffer with guilt about how our condition effects others - and we should not be feeling like this.

l hope you post back after a lovely time with them all. Enjoy the train journey - at least you can stretch your legs - read a book-

make sure you book a seat and tell them you are disabled.