How do i help my husband?

Hello, im hoping that by talking to people that understand, that i can help my partner cope better.
Nick was diagnosed with progressive MS two years ago, recently he has been struggling with the demand of work, he is a chef, declining mobility, his left leg keeps dragging after a short walk, he trips over fresh air, not eating properly and is so exhausted.
He is stubborn and wont seek advice.
I just dont know how to get him back to a specialist without him feeling that i am nagging.
He is a very proud stubborn man.
Any advice most welcome.

Hi Cherie
I get where Nick is coming from :+1:

Like him, I was diagnosed about 18 months ago with progressive MS after years of being misdiagnosed so my condition is possibly more developed than Nick’s. Bit older too (59). I also drag my left leg after an ever-shortening distance and the fatigue is a real problem. I’m at the point where I gave up proper work (construction-related) 2 years ago as walking round a site was no longer safe. Have done other temp jobs since but struggle with fatigue.

He’s doing the best he can and in his mind he’s trying to be as normal as possible for as long as possible. You need to let him: It’s his stubbornness that’s keeping him going - really. In his heart of hearts, he knows something’s gotta give at some point, and maybe not that far away, but let him deal with it. Let him control the process - it’s the only thing he can control.

Perhaps make some suggestions though. Progressive MS can be quite aggressive and in my experience, the MS Teams are not really attuned to it. They’re much more used to working with people with RRMS who are in regular contact for DMT’s. For those of us with Progressive MS, there may be no treatment or they are sitting on the fence (they call it “watchful waiting”) before deciding. He absolutely needs to hassle them for a coherent treatment plan and notify them the symptoms are worsening.

Is he down for an annual review? It’s not soon enough for many of us. He needs to get on a course of siponimod (SPMS) or ocrelizumab (PPMS) if he meets the criteria, and if not, medications or aids to help his symptoms.

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Great response. My stubbornness kept me going for a long time. It can however become detrimental to his condition and make things worse . You need to be aware if this happens or his stubbornness starts to put others at significant risk . Very difficult judge so try to learn the signs of when his struggles
start to become too difficult. All the best to you both.

I tried to edit this on my phone. :face_with_symbols_over_mouth: fat “non dominant” fingers, fuzzy brain, tiny screen and predictive text that invents its own poxy vocabulary… Ooooh … and breathe