Hello Everybody!! My names Mike or Mikey as my friends call me. I just joined this site out of curiosity - so thought id write a few lines to introduce my self, say hello and invite you to comment on my short story or my sense of denial. Here’s my short story oh and please i ask you not to judge my writing skills or lack of : )))) too harshly as i have dyslexia.
12 Months ago my life crashed. Without me being too overly dramatic about all this MS stuff, it really was as sudden as a car crash.
It was just another fun filled day @ work for me. At around 1.00pm one Friday afternoon back in early February 2011. Me and my work colleges had just finished eating our lunch. I decided to make my way down the hill to our newly constructed work shop where we were working on a new military differential ~ oh but that’s top secret so don’t tell any one ok : )
As i began walking down the hill, adam pulled up along side me on his forklift truck and joined me on my short walk. Then suddenly and without warning i lost my ability to balance completely. Luckily i just fell against Adams truck. I just stood there, holding onto the truck trying to figure out what had just happened to me, then again without any warning my eyes started to flicker uncontrollably and so rapidly my vision became just simply a blur. This was my introduction to my newly acquired Disseminating illness, and now as from the 25th of January 2012 apparently this is called multiple sclerosis.
Actually to finally receive this diagnosis came as a relief to me. Sounds strange but its true, after nearly twelve months of having no explanations, especially to my family and friends, as to why i have a funny walk, why i have mood changes, why for no apparent reason i just start crying, why for no apparent reason i start laughing, well finally now i do… or do i?
Maybe im in denial? I mean to say i understand my disseminated cerebellum affects my walk, my coordination, my gait and among a whole host of other things my emotions too. Well in my case my emotional perceptions, and to be honest i just don’t trust my own judgment at the moment, but when my neurologist told me about multiple sclerosis, he seamed to lose congruence, his eyes told me of his uncertainty.
He referred me to a MS specialist in Coventry, who has confirmed his original diagnosis, now im to choose between these various drugs.
Anyways now im thinking if the new confirmed diagnosis is based on the original MRI scan, the Lumber puncture results, my EVP/ERG results (Electroretinogram/Visual Evoked Potential) or in English, an eye test…hahahaha oh and a short physical examination by the MS specialist, do i have ms? am i experiencing denial?
Hey im the first person to admit, im no angel, certainly in my youth I’ve experimented with various recreational drugs. Im not proud of it, and yes up until February 2011, i drank too much alcohol had a poor diet and smoked too many cigarettes from what ive read about MS, i thought a definitive diagnosis can only be reached by most of my test results plus a new MRI scan which is compared to my original scan results. I know alcohol can be responsible for my inner cranial lesion’s.
Ok time to rest my eyes, well id be most interested to read any random comments from you guys n girls reading this, maybe my story sounds familiar? I understand a persons denial is simply a natural response to any number of personal issues. Maybe you can help with my perspective?
Thanks for taking the time to read my words oh and thank god for the spellchecker! : ))))